The Sad Keanu meme is never going away — and now you can own it in easily transportable figurine form. That's right, you can own your very own Keanu Reeves figurine to have, hold, and commiserate with wherever you go. Misery loves company, after all. 3-D printing company, Shapeway, has brought the sad Matrix star figurine to life in two sizes that it assures buyers are "both equally sad". Move over, Feminist Ryan Gosling, because Urban Outfitters just found its new favorite pop culture merchandise.
The Sad Keanu meme was born in May 2010 when paparazzi caught the actor sitting on a bench, looking hopelessly forlorn, and eating a sandwich. The meme took on a life of its own like most viral celebrity memes and even inspired a "Cheer up, Keanu" Day (which is on June 15, in case you were wondering). Reeves, like the great sport that he is, took the meme in stride by riffing on it to create his Ode to Happiness with artist Alexandra Grant. The actor told The Guardian in 2011 of how his satire of the meme came to be:
And I just started to write on this piece of paper, because I had this image of, you know, that moment when you take that bath, you light that candle, and you're really just kind of depressed. And it was making Janey laugh so hard, I just kept going, piling on the self-pity.
And here we are in 2014, where we can purchase not just one size of a real life Sad Keanu — but two different sizes! Shapeway offers a "Teeny Keanu" for $25 and "Little Keanu" for $45. A gift that keeps on giving and won't break the bank? WE'RE IN. Here's what he looks like:
So naturally, we started thinking about the best places to put your new Sad Keanu for optimal companionship. The possibilities are endless, as life and assured misery lurk around every corner, but here's our top 5 spots for your new miserable friend:
1. ON YOUR DESK
Nothing's more miserable than a Monday morning — so what better place to have your Sad Keanu than in your office, somewhere on your desk. That way, when you feel like muttering to yourself about how much you hate Mondays, you can just tell Sad Keanu and sit there looking forlorn together. And you get to find comfort in the thought that at least someone understands you.
2. ON YOUR CAR'S DASHBOARD
The only thing worse than Mondays is being stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic for an extended period of time. Prop Sad Keanu up on your dashboard, perch him on your rear-view mirror, or sit him in your driver's side cup holder and you've got a friend to keep you company on the most stressful traffic day. Also, he won't judge you when your road rage kicks in and you're damning everyone around you to hell. It's a win-win.
3. ON YOUR ALARM CLOCK
The worst sound of all terrible sounds in the entire world — your alarm clock. No matter what time it's set for, it always just feels WAY too early and you're always WAY too miserable/tired to want to start the day. So why not put Sad Keanu right there to make you feel a little better knowing that you're not the only person who's so sad about your alarm. A kindred spirit at that hour of the morning might be all you need to get through the day (unless it's a Tuesday, then nothing will help).
4. IN YOUR GYM BAG
Is there anything more miserable than forcing yourself to go to the gym? You know you have to go — summer's only four months away — but damn it, you hate it so much. But here's Sad Keanu to commiserate with you while you run your eighth mile on the treadmill and somehow, you feel a little bit better knowing that you aren't suffering through it alone.
5. WITH YOUR LUNCH IN THE COMPANY FRIDGE
I've never experienced it first hand, but apparently there are people in some offices that take it upon themselves to eat other people's lunches/snacks they've brought from home. (Like, how rude are you?) Well, do you want to creep that person out/make them feel so terrible for even considering taking the food you went out of your way to bring in for lunch — sit Sad Keanu on top of it. That person will be taken aback at first and then feel immediately guilty for realizing how sad you would be (almost as sad as Sad Keanu) if you opened the fridge to find your lunch gone. Take that, lunch thief.
And here's a video of the real Keanu Reeves reacting to seeing the Sad Keanu figurine for the first time: