Thoughts All Women Have When They Masturbate, From Kale To Your Weird Neighbor — VIDEO

When it's time to flick the bean, the thoughts women have when they masturbate can range from distracting to truly frustrating, if not a little disturbing. When women say that their orgasms are "mental," they're not mincing words. So much of the female orgasm comes from being able to concentrate and get the brain in the game. Which isn't always a sure thing, so women wind up cycling through a lot of different thoughts on the road to arousal. Even if those thoughts aren't exactly universally the same word-for-word, thematically at least, our masturbation thoughts are pretty much the same. They all revolve around remembering to do things we forgot to do, accidentally thinking about male relatives, and hand cramps.

BuzzFeed Yellow has made a cute little video paying homage to all those thoughts you have when you're trying to give yourself the jollies. If you're a woman who likes to service herself, then chances are you can relate to a majority, if not all of these. Because as pleasurable as masturbation can be, it's not without its stresses. Here are some thoughts that women have when they're trying to masturbate, but can't quite get their brain to be quiet:

1. "Focus"

Trying to get yourself "in the zone" is probably one of the first thoughts you have when you sit/lay down to masturbate. Unfortunately, the more you tell yourself to "focus" the more off brand you go. It's the masturbation catch-22...

2. "I Forgot To Get The Kale"

In the midst of thoughts of trying to "focus" you'll start weirdly thinking about the grocery cashier, and then remember that you forgot to buy kale. This "forgot to do" train of thought while you're masturbating is the number one killer of the female erection, believe it or not (fact just made up by me, but seems to be right from all my own experiences).

3. "Tony"

It might not be Tony, but you'll start thinking about someone (male or female!) that you're super attracted to, or that you once had a saucy sexual experience with. Of course, this should be the path to arousal, but sometimes the power of the imagination just isn't strong enough...

4. "Damn I'm Hungry"

You'll continue distracting yourself though, even as you try and make yourself remember steaming past sex and the face of someone that turns you on. If you're me, you might even pause to make a sandwich. Just sayin'.

5. "I Need To Be Declawed"

Every woman knows that magical moment when your nails get in the way of being truly turned on. There's really nothing that hot about scratching up your vagina when you're trying to get off.

Watch the full video of thoughts women have when they're masturbating below. There's plenty more where the above ones came from!

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Images: YouTube (6)