Being single and trying to meet someone isn’t easy, especially when you’re in a group of people you don’t know. Honestly, I used to be the one in the corner wishing I knew the best ways to meet someone at a party.
Since I’ve gotten older (and some would say wiser), I’ve had to take bigger steps towards meeting someone organically at a party. As much as we all wish online dating could be the answer to all our problems, it too often ends up in an awkward first date or getting played. Nothing can match feeling the sweet sting of rejection when someone you think could be the "real thing" ghosts you. It’s enough to make any sane, single person want to take a flying leap into spinsterhood and start buying up a bunch of cats.
Don’t jump off the edge of the cliff just yet, though. It may be a scary, scary world out there where you’ve already eliminated any acquaintance from your possible matches list. However, people meet new people every day and with all the endless work parties, housewarmings, weddings, and other special occasions being celebrated, you are bound to find someone in the crowd. Instead of attempting to blindly make contact, these are the tips you need to know if you want to meet someone in real life. Follow these and you’ll find your match before you know it.
1. Scope out the room
You need to be the hunter and not the hunted. Look for interesting people that you want to get to know, take action, and take control. You should be actively looking for interesting people to talk to, instead of just expecting to be found. Put yourself in the power position.
2. Don't expect to immediately find "the one"
Are you going to meet the most interesting person in the world tonight? Probably not, so don’t expect that you will. It’s way too much pressure to put on yourself if you go in thinking you are definitely finding "the one" tonight. Just expect to meet new people and have some fun. Manage those expectations, and you won’t be disappointed if you don’t meet your special someone this time. There’s always another party
3. Feel good about Y-O-U
If you feel confident, you will be more at ease. Just remember, you are a boss.
4. Remember that it only takes one
You won’t meet anyone without a little effort, but parties can be scary and mingling is tough. Instead of making it your goal to meet everyone at the party, start with something easy — meet one person. Not so scary that way, right? You’ve met one person so many times in your life, it’s as easy as pie.
5. Don't forget names
Yes, you can forget a name easily from time to time, but make an effort not to. It’s not the end of the world if you have to ask for it again, but it makes a better impression if you know it.
6. Read the signals
You know when you’re stuck talking to someone and desperately searching the room for a way out? If the person you’re talking to is giving you one-word responses, pick up on those signals. Politely step away and find someone who is actually interested and appreciates what you have to say.
7. Open-ended questions are your friend
You’ve nailed the intro and the person you are talking to seems interested in continuing a conversation. Now what? Ask open-ended questions that will prompt more than a one to two word response such as "are you from around here?" versus "where are you from?" Don’t load up the yes and no questions too much or the conversation will head downhill fast.
8. Pay attention to their answers
After you ask the question, don’t just space out. Pay attention to their answers and comment on them instead of peppering them with "that’s cool" or "sweet" responses. Engaging a person is key.
9. Don’t dive in right away if you don't want to
Before you start chatting up strangers, have a little fun socializing with friends and people you know. No need to head into the party and walk up to a stranger first thing. Hang out, have a drink, and loosen up a bit to calm your nerves.
10. Make eye contact
This one is a challenge sometimes, but holding another person’s gaze is an intense way to capture their attention and show you’re truly interested.
11. Make your move
If you feel the physical and emotional chemistry, don’t leave them hanging at the end of the party. Whether it’s simply asking for a phone number or going in for the goodnight kiss, make a move or you’ll miss out forever.
12. Follow through
You have to have follow through. Don’t let the person you hit it off with get away after a fun night. Don’t wait 10 days to call. Follow up the next day (no, it’s not too soon). If you got their number, they want you to use it.
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