The Puppy Bowl Or The Kitten Bowl? That's Where the True Competition Lies

It is a debate as old as time — or at least as old as domesticated felines: Cats or dogs? Or, as the Superbowl side shows would have it, should you watch Kitten Bowl or Puppy Bowl? Because as Hallmark exec Bill Abbott said upon the announcement of Hallmarks' Kitten Bowl programming as competition to Animal Planet's ten-seasons-running Puppy Bowl: “Kittens are just as cute as puppies." And so the gauntlet was thrown. The war has raged on long enough. Too many people have been asked "Are you a cat person or a dog person" on first dates, and now the rivalry is coming to a head. We won't know which side won the ratings war of it until tomorrow, but for now? For now we can do nothing but sit back and prepare for the carnage. The adorable, adorable carnage.

Who will come out of this victorious: Puppies or kittens?

God, they're just all so cute.

The only way through this is through a good old fashioned pros and cons list.

PUPPIES

Pros

  • Fluffy
  • Their claws are usually less sharp than those of cats
  • They tend to be vaguely more loyal than kittens
  • SOFT
  • BOUNCY
  • They tend to come in more shapes and sizes than kittens

Cons

  • Slobbery

KITTENS

Pros

  • Kittens always fall asleep on you
  • And curl up on your boobs (or general chestal area)
  • When they lick you it's not sticky or gross
  • SOFT
  • BOUNCY
  • Every time a kitten meows an angel gets its wings

Cons

  • Smaller frailer bodies

Listen, this debate is bigger than all of us. TV programming is raining cats and dogs (get it? Wordplay? Get it??), and we're all just along for the ride. So which should you choose? Which are cuter? Is that even a humane thing to decide???

Because...puppies.

Oh god, puppies.

AND KITTENS!!

KITTENS, YOU GUYS.

I, for one, am going kitten.

OR BETTER YET BOTH.

Can't we all just live in peace???

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