New Selena Gomez Track Features Justin Bieber Voicemail: 5 Cheesiest Spoken Word Verses in Pop
If Justin Bieber's cheetah car didn't leave tongues wagging (and fans gagging), Selena Gomez's new single certainly will. "Love Will Remember," a track off of the former Disney star's Stars Dance, features a supposed voicemail from Gomez's famous ex-boyfriend.
Says a male voice at the beginning of the leaked track: "Hey babe, it's me. I just want to call and tell you that I love you so, so, so, so much. I just wanted to let you know that you are my princess. You are worthy of all the love in the world. You are the love of my life." Scarier than the fact that Gomez supposedly saved a voicemail for this long is the fact that teen girls everywhere will listen to the first 17 seconds of the track more than their own parents and teachers.
But "Love Will Remember" is hardly the first song to feature a spoken word verse. And it's hardly the first pop song to feature a spoken word verse that's cheesy as a thick slab of brie. Read on to see some of music's most groan-worthy spoken word-infused songs.
Backstreet Boys, "The Call"
If "Love to Remember" had an aging uncle who wears slouchy caps to cover up his receding hairline, it would be "The Call," the 2001 track off of the Backstreet Boys' Black & Blue. And after hearing the spoken word introduction — which delivers the chorus in voicemail form — there's little wonder that Black & Blue marked the band's last successful release. Sorry, Backstreet — we're going to another singer nearby named Justin Timberlake. Gotta go!
All Saints, "Never Ever"
You can tell it to my face, or you can tell on the phone. You can write it in a letter. Either way, I have to know: Why did the British girl group choose to elongate their single to a whopping five minutes with this bizarre soliloquy? Word of warning (from experience): Never ever sing "Never Ever" at karaoke.
Mandy Moore, "Candy"
There's no doubt 2013 Moore — she of the hip Amanda Leigh and marriage to Ryan Adams — cringes every time she remembers recording, "You know who you are / Your love is as sweet as candy / I'll be forever yours / Love always, Mandy." It's a spoken word verse as sweet as the entire selection at a movie theater concession stand, which, unfortunately, when consumed together, only leaves you gagging.
Boyz II Men, "To The Limit"
In this 1997 track, Boyz II Men threatens via spoken word to run you a bath, wash your hair, and "lotion your body down with some Baby Magic," which is one way to get an endorsement deal from a children's product. But more hilarious is the band's query to the song's subject about her preference in the bathtub, "Do you like bubbles?" What will you do if she says no, Boyz II Men?!
98 Degrees, "Silent Night"
You know, Franz Xaver Gruber's Christmas tune just wasn't quite rad enough. So why not add what seemed like a Hallmark holiday card read aloud by a Barry White impersonator? Christmas just simply is not Christmas without terrible spoken word.