The Easter season is upon us, and with that comes thoughts of bunnies, bright dyes, and perhaps most importantly, just how much chocolate you can cram into a basket before looking a little too weird at the kids' Easter egg hunt. But despite any weight gain you may take on from just that one extra Cadbury egg, these hilarious Easter quotes will keep you celebrating the season.
In spite of all of the chocolate, it goes without saying that Easter obviously has a religious connotation to it as well — one of the original intentions was to allow Christians the time to celebrate the resurrection of their savior Jesus Christ, who had risen from the grave on Easter after being crucified three days before. Easter as it's known now did not start out this way, however. The original Easter celebration actually began as Eastre, and was a massive, riotous festival thrown to welcome the arrival of Spring. It wasn't until Christians began to convert the ancient Saxons in the eighth century that the pagan festival began to fall way to the religious holiday people celebrate today.
But regardless of your affiliation with either the religious aspect or chocolate aspect (or both), here are some Easter quotes everyone can get behind:
1. "What is the real purpose behind the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus? They seem like greater steps toward faith and imagination, each with a payoff. Like cognitive training exercises." — Chuck Palahniuk
If nothing else, believing in the Easter bunny does come with a nice payoff. You can't beat chocolate, that's for sure.
2. "If you believe in the Easter Bunny, it means you believe in a fat, purple bunny, which is pooping multi-color eggs in your garden." — Unknown
Again, if believing in a magical, pooping bunny means I get candy at the end of it, I'm down for a little extra imagination this Easter.
3. "Easter is when your parents take all the leftover Halloween candy and hide it around the house in colorful eggs. When you can't find any, you give up until next year, when you find all the old ones and none of the new ones." — Unknown
While I'm not picky about Halloween candy versus Easter candy, I can't imagine that peeps have quite that long of a shelf life.
4. "Easter says you can put truth in a grave, but it won't stay there." — Clarence W. Hall
This one pulls a bit from Easter's religious background, but there's still some dark humor mixed in with this forewarning about trying to bury the truth too much.
5. "I lied on my Weight Watchers list. I put down that I had 3 eggs... but they were Cadbury chocolate eggs." — Caroline Rhea
Maybe with summer fast-approaching I'm thinking too much about dieting, but hey, Cadbury eggs count as a protein, right?
6. "My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper." — Amy Sedaris
Greek Easter generally falls after the celebration in the west, and is regarded as the most sacred observance in the Greek orthodox religion. And hey, nothing wrong with getting a few bucks off of the whole deal.
7. "All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt!" — Lucy Van Pelt, Peanuts
Whether the candy is full-priced or has a religious spin, one thing you can't turn down is a love of chocolate.
So it's probably a little obvious that I'm a bit obsessed with both chocolate and any variation of brightly-colored marshmallow. So no matter how you celebrate Easter, it definitely has room for everyone (plus those few extra Cadbury eggs)!