13 Things I Never Noticed Rewatching ‘Spy Kids’

Are you ready to feel super old right now? The first Spy Kids was released 15 years ago. In 2001, Alexa Vega became the crush of every single middle school boy. Well, to honor the film’s 15th anniversary, I decided to sit down and re-watch the movie as an adult. The first time I saw the film I was 11-years-old and at the peak of my middle school career, which meant I was hitting up the mall (and Limited Too) on Friday nights with my friends. I’ve probably seen Spy Kids a few times since then, but probably not since 2003. Anyways, I got my wine and sat down to watch Spy Kids.

I quickly realized that I barely remembered any of the movie. To sum it up though, Carmen and Juni Cortez are children of two retired spies. When their parents go missing, they have to track them down and get them back. There are evil men trying to create an army of robot children and a creepy AF children’s show host who’s also a villain. Guys, fair warning, it’s a lot weirder than you might remember if you haven't seen it in almost 15 years like me.

Here are 13 things I totally forgot about. Happy anniversary, Spy Kids!

1. This House

As a kid I probably wasn't too concerned about the prime real estate of their home, but as an adult, I had all the feels for their Spanish mansion surrounded by ocean and cliffs. I mean, they even have a ropes course in there. So down for that life.

2. There’s No Reason They Need To Share A Room

Yeah, Carmen mentions they share a room because Juni is scared of everything, but come on, that house is at least six bedrooms. Get them their own rooms.

3. Robert Rodriguez

It’s pretty hard to believe that the guy behind this movie is also behind From Dusk Till Dawn, Sin City, Grindhouse and Desperado. Although it does explain why Danny Trejo is in it.

4. Thumbs

You guys, the villains are THUMBS. WTF?

5. Alan Cumming

Alan Cumming is pretty much one of my favorite people on this entire planet, but he’s super creepy in this movie. His children’s TV show is pretty much a giant acid trip with weird Teletubby-like creatures.

6. Magical Snacks & Money

I think I speak for everyone when I say I’m always down for snacks and money that appear out of no where.

7. Not To Mention Magical McDonalds

She microwaves a candy bar looking thing that turns into McDonalds. That was pretty much a dream as a child. It’s disappointing that magical McDonalds isn’t a real thing.

8. The Worst Jail Ever

Floop’s castle thing is literally the most terrifying place to be held captive ever.

9. That Man Who’s Hand Gets Chopped By The Fan

Is this why I was so scared of ceiling fans falling on me as a child?

10. Minion

Sorry, Minions are small and yellow. This dude needs a name change.

11. Surprise Appearances

Bet you didn't know Mike Judge and Richard Linklater, two famous writer/directors made cameos in this film. I sure didn’t.

12. George Clooney

What?! Oh hello, George. Without fail, George Clooney makes every movie better.

13. This Movie Is Weird AF

After I finished watching, I am still not sure why I thought it was so cool as a kid. Overall it’s pretty creepy and kind of terrifying. As someone who’s not great with kids, a child army is actually the scariest thing ever.

Images: Spy Kids/Screenshot (5); Giphy (9)