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A Trump Tombstone Showed Up In Central Park

by Joseph D. Lyons

As much as you might wish it so, this is not an official sign of the end of Donald Trump's presidential campaign. A mysterious tombstone with Trump's name was placed in New York's Central Park over the weekend. The year of death was correctly left blank, but the year of birth is definitely Trump's 1946. The epitaph, though, is what really leaves no doubt as to the intended honoree. "Made America Hate Again," it reads in capital letters at the bottom. Given the insanity of the 2016 primaries, there are any number of appropriate epitaphs that could adorn a future Trump campaign tombstone.

The pranksters — or artists, depending on your political affiliation — who placed the stone in the park haven't come forward. The New York City Parks Department said that its workers removed the stone Sunday. Trump paid it no mind, even though his apartment overlooks the park. He spent his Sunday tweeting about trade deals and the complicated rules of delegate allocation. That's in addition to an Easter message and claims that he alone can solve the problem of terrorist attacks in Pakistan. Sure. He also failed to Tweet about his new grandson, so maybe his Twitter feed shouldn't be the point of reference on life-or-death matters.

In any case, should any other jokesters be considering a similar prank mourning Trump's campaign — either now or when it presumably ends — you might want to up the ante a bit. I have some ideas ...

"Replaced By Younger Model"

He has married younger and younger. He's also dissed women he doesn't know for aging. It would only seem appropriate that the political universe does the same to him.

"The Beauty Of Me Is That I’m Very Rich.”

A quote from the Donald may be the best option. He sums himself up pretty well — even if it's not true.

"Descanse En Paz"

Trump seems to think this is a country "where we speak English," despite the fact that there are more Spanish speakers here than in Spain. RIP in Spanish, or any other language, would do.

"Here Lies A Toupee"

The hair made the man in this case. It's only fair to pay proper respects — and if it is real, even moreso.

"I beat China all the time. All the time."

But China outlived you. Oh, snap.