To promote the reboot of The Powerpuff Girls, Cartoon Network has created a website that allows you "Powerpuff yourself." Naturally, I thought "Hey, it would be funny to transform politicians into Powerpuff Girls and Guys." So I did. If the presidential candidates were Powerpuff Girls, then the group of crime-fighting tots would look very, very different. While none of the candidates chasing that 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue address have actual superpowers (that I know of, at least), they all claim that they'll fight for Americans and protect the nation from evil.
Because none of the candidates look anything like Blossom, Bubbles, or Buttercup, doing this required starting from scratch, and the Powerpuff Yourself website lets you decide every aspect of your Powerpuff person's appearance, down to their eye color and accessories. Donald Trump's one-of-a-kind hairstyle made the task rather difficult, but I eventually found a good compromise, and a bizarre outfit that really communicates his personality. Unfortunately, there was no "Make America Great Again" hat option on the site.
Now, the moment you've been waiting for: All five remaining presidential candidates as Powerpuff Girls and Guys, complete with mesmerizing backdrops.
There's an option to choose separate pants and tops, but Hillary Clinton's Powerpuff wouldn't be caught dead in anything other than a matching ensemble closely resembling a pantsuit.
Bernie Sanders' Powerpuff would obviously be very popular with millennials, considering he would zip around town on a skateboard.
Everyone in this fake universe would be confused about how the Donald Trump Powerpuff joined the gang ("Why does he wear a cat suit?" "Why is he on a hoverboard?" "Where did he come from?"), but he would be entertaining nonetheless.
The Ted Cruz Powerpuff would seem to be all business — refusing to wear anything other than a proper suit — but would make silly faces at inappropriate times.
Powerpuff John Kasich's secret weapon would be his dog, also named John Kasich. Although everyone would expect him to die in a battle early on in the show, he would somehow survive until the very end.
Because I have a weird penchant for turning this year's candidates into cartoons, I previously turned them all into Peanuts characters. Luckily, more than a dozen candidates have dropped out since then, so there are far fewer old white dude Powerpuffs than there would have been a few months ago.