If You Have to Compromise Who You Are, He's Not Worth It
Move over, Cupid. Rebecca Martinson has all the relationship advice women need to hook a man: Get his D wet.
As she so eloquently wrote in a contributing article to BroBible: “NO SANE MAN GOES TO THE BAR TO NOT TRY TO STICK IT IN. HE IS NOT THERE TO GET TO KNOW YOU. HE IS NOT THERE TO HEAR YOU TALK ABOUT YOURSELF AND HOW MUCH YOU LOVE YOUR NEW SHADES OF NAIL POLISH. HE IS THERE TO GIVE YOU THE D FOR FREE.”
Jezebel highlighted some sentiments from Martinson's post. Below are some of my personal favorites:
"To most drunk guys a wet hole is a wet hole, and with each cranberry vodka the two of you slurp down you're both less likely to remember what either of you talked about. You could tell him that you won the friggin' lottery and the morning after he wouldn't know it."
“Yeah he might go home with someone else that night, but the morning after he’s going to remember the girl that proudly displayed her thong on her back like the Mona Lisa at the Louvre while rubbing it on his junk, not the nice Communications major that like, is so like into like, something he doesn’t remember because it didn’t relate to getting his D wet."
Martinson’s analysis of the male agenda is hardly groundbreaking, but does this understanding really influence the initial interactions between men and women? We may be quick to say Martinson is just pushing sexism (or just bat-shit crazy), but she can’t be the only woman who has felt pressure to act a certain way to cinch a man’s attention.
I asked a couple of my friends to weigh in on the question: “Do you act more lewd your first time meeting if you sense a man is only interested in sex, not conversation?”
For some, the scenario didn’t even constitute a pressure situation.
“If I’m aware that a guy is solely interested in receiving sexual acts from me, then I don’t see a purpose in continuing my interaction with him"Melanie, 20, says. "I have enough confidence in myself to be able to understand that there are guys out there that will appreciate me for more than superficial things like sex and I do not have to lower my standards just for the momentary feeling of being wanted”.
Victoria, 24, adds, “Hell no! I don't like guys that are only interested in sex especially if it’s our initial meet. So I don't push the sexy button on at all and don't feel pressure. I actually get thrown off and keep it pushing.”
Others admitted that this scenario does make things more difficult, but it all boils down to what you want out of the exchange. “I definitely think the pressure is there. But if that’s not what I’m looking for, I either let them know, or remove myself from the situation,” says Shiesha, 20.
At that point, it’s up to the woman to decide if that’s what she wants to settle for. “If that’s all I want, then cool!” says Toni, 19. But, in her view, “It’s never just sex with women. There’s always some emotion that lingers longer than he does.”
So, what’s a girl to do?
Figure out what you want. If flirting chest-forward is in your repertoire, then all power to you. But if that couldn't be further from who you are, why stretch to get him to take you home? Getting male acknowledgement (or an orgasm... or, worse, not) is not worth compromising who you are.
Image: The Sean & Lauren Spectacular