22 Silly 'Bring It On' Moments That Will Still Make You Ch-Ch-Ch-Chuckle
I had a particularly gothy adolescence, so it’s no surprise that the 2000 cheerleader flick Bring It On did not enter my regular movie rotation until later in life. In truth, it’s one of the best teen movies out there, in spite of the campiness and indisputable fact that cheerleaders are pure evil. Kirsten Dunst and Gabrielle Union both bring it, make no mistake. However, all the ridiculousness in the film should still be celebrated... even cheered on.
In case you missed the plot of Bring It On (and the six or seven sequels it spawned), the movie follows perky blonde Torrance Shipman, the new head cheerleader of five-time National champions the Toros. Torrance is horrified to find out that, in previous years, the Toros' moves have been stolen from the East Compton cheerleading squad (so like, there’s kind of a race war going on with pleated skirts and high kicks or something). Conflict arises between the two schools, and Torrance is forced to think up an original new routine... which shouldn’t be too hard thanks to her rebellious new recruit, Missy.
In short, as much as you want to punch some of the cheerleaders some of the time (here’s looking at you Wh-wh-wh-itney and C-c-c-courtney), it’s a hell of a movie. So, enjoy this chronologically documented collection of it’s silliest moments.
1. The Fact That The Main Character Has The Name Of A Salem Witch Trial Victim
Unless I'm just too young to know that "Torrance" was the "Madison" of 2000.
2. "Come On Tor, I Can't Mack It With You In Front Of The Parentals."
Yeah, OK, I'm going to spend the rest of this movie trying to figure out if this dude is a prude or just a gigantic jerk, because that statement makes me feel like it can go either way, but I can at least forgive the former.
3. It's Nice That They Have A Place To Park Their Mopeds
This is such a luxurious high school.
4. Torrance's Hair Has Like Four Buns Too Many
Such an over-achiever, this one.
5. "She Puts The 'Itch' In B*tch." "She Puts The 'Wh*re' In Horrifying."
Oh great, looking forward to hearing this masterful wordplay for the next two hours.
6. "I'm Just Saying The College Might Be Less Of A Shock If You Take An Extra Lab Or Language Course Or Something?"
"Will Advanced Chem get you off my back?
...I'm pretty sure if you're sub-par in academics you can't just casually enroll in Advanced Chemistry, but whatever, movie.
7. "So, Is That Your Band Or Something?"
Not sure if it's more disturbing that she doesn't know who The Clash is, or that she thinks he would wear his own band t-shirt.
8. "Courtney, This Is Not A Democracy, This Is A Cheerocracy."
You know what, I had this pegged for a constitutional monarchy, but it looks like I was wrong.
9. Missy Wore Men's Pinstripe Suit Pants To Practice
Killing it on her first day.
10. Torrance Threatens To Kick Missy's Ass, And Missy Responds Appropriately
That girl is a vampire slayer; you need to take a step back.
11. The Face You Make When You Realize That Your Entire Life Is A Lie
Because you've been stealing moves from a cheerleader squad named after shamrocks the entire time, OMG.
12. This Is Supposed To Be A Flashback From This Summer, Yet Most Of These Chicks Look Like They Legit Timetraveled From 1983
I can taste the hairspray from here.
13. "It's Not My Fault That You're In Love With A Big Gay Cheerleader Who Won't Return Your Phone Calls."
All right, so Torrance's little brother is on Team Aaron Is Gay, but I'm not sure if it counts because he thinks it's because Aaron's a cheerleader versus it being because Aaron says things like, "I can't mack it in front of the parentals, Tor."
14. "You're Having Cheer Sex With Him."
What on God's green Earth does that even mean? Does that involve bringing pom-poms into the bedroom, because I can't imagine this being a thing otherwise.
15. Torrance And Cliff Flirt By Spitting Into A Sink A Lot
That's actually how I picked up my last boyfriend.
16. That Is A Girl In His Bed, Which Is A Point For Team Jerk
But to the far right there's a poster that has men's faces over women's bodies, which puts a tentative point towards Team Very, Very Confused.
17. Torrance's Other Love Interest Is Actually Way Hot, Even Though He Can Only Smile On One Side
Like there's smirking and then there's looking like Two Face In Batman Forever every time you grin.
18. Aaron's Turtleneck And Finger Wave, Though
Honestly, I don't know what to think anymore.
19. Torrance Has A Kind Of Scary Wizard Of Oz Collection Going On Here
We're talking almost an entire shelf here.
20. "When You Go To The Nationals, Bring It. Don't Slack Off Because You Feel Sorry For Us."
"I'll bring it. Don't worry."
21. Cliff Is Wearing A Blue Adidas Shirt And Khakis, Which Is Very Punk
As in, Joe Strummer is rolling in his grave right now.
22. "And So, In Third Place, From New Pope High School, In New Pope Mississippi, The New Pop Cavaliers!"
Congratulations, everyone will forget you next year.
Ultimately the Toros take second place leaving the Clovers with a long overdue grab at first place, but I think that, when it comes to watching this teen movie classic, we all win.
Images: Universal Pictures (25); Giphy