The Deadliest Day Of The Week Is Saturday, Proving Nothing Is Sacred Anymore

While I hate to be the harbinger of doom here, I'm about to put a serious damper on your weekend plans — according to a new analysis by LiveScience, Saturday is officially the deadliest day of the week. For shame, I KNOW. Is nothing sacred anymore? If you're like me and you spend Monday through Friday looking forward to Saturday and then spend Sunday wishing it was still Saturday, this news likely does not please you.

So, here's the deal. LiveScience, in a stroke of morbid yet important genius, decided to try to determine if national data revealed any particular pattern of death as it pertains to days of the week. To do so, they started crunching numbers from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and, specifically, a little-known CDC database called "Wonder" containing data on every single death (reported, one must assume) in the United States since 1999 — kinda creepy... But, nonetheless, that's where LiveScience sourced the stats they used for this little experiment. What they found was that of the more than 39 million deaths over the last 15 years or so, the highest percentage fell on Saturdays — to the tune of 5.7 million total deaths.

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Now, let it be said this info should be taken with a grain of salt, since the mortality rate among the days of the week was very close in range. Sunday, the day containing the lowest number of deaths, came in at 5.6 million total deaths. Whew! Saturday isn't that much more dangerous than the rest of the days of the week.

Having said that, it's all pretty terrifying when you pick it apart and — hooray — that's precisely what LiveScience did for our panic-addled pleasure. So instead of placing a lifelong moratorium on Saturday nights, let's instead consider what types of things you should avoid on that most hallowed day of the week (as well as the rest of 'em).

When To Minimize Time On The Road

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Of all the days of the week, the most deaths due to car crashes occurred on Saturdays. This could potentially be chalked up to the fact that Saturday is the night people tend to drink and drive.

When To Go For A Joy Ride

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Alternately, there is a day of the week when deaths from car crashes is considerably lower: Tuesday. So go ahead and take the car for a spin — just don't drive it to a fast food joint, 'cause Tuesday has the second highest rate of heart attacks.

When To Avoid Unhealthy Food

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Again, not trying to be a bad news bear, but heart attacks rank pretty high as cause of death every day of the week. But Monday comes in just above the rest, with 348,206 deaths from heart attack occurring on that day.

When To Stay Away From Firearms

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If you're planning a trip to the firing range or training for your concealed weapons permit, maybe don't do it on a Sunday. Although Saturday also had a fairly high percentage of firearm deaths, Sunday edged it out with 32,314 total.

When To Feel Marginally Safe

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There's something to be said for ol' Hump Day! That's right — of all the days of the week, LiveScience found that Wednesday claimed neither the most nor the least of any of the selected causes of death.

Images: Basti93/pixabay; Giphy (5)