'Two and a Half Men' Alum Charlie Sheen is Engaged... For a Fourth Time

It's that time of year again! Charlie Sheen proposed to adult film star, Brett Rossi, early on Saturday morning after watching the sun rise in Hawaii. Rossi told E! News, "He even was a gentleman and got down on one knee," which makes one wonder about her standards for gentlemanly conduct, as well as how else Sheen could have proposed. Perhaps he was planning on stapling the ring to a baseball, tossing it to her, and following up with, "I'm 0-for-3 in marriage, but like in baseball, the scoreboard doesn't lie." Perhaps he wanted to hide the ring in the flask of tiger's blood that he keeps on their bedside table. Perhaps their "engaged in Iceland" hoax wasn't actually a hoax, and they decided to hide it until this past weekend so they could take photos in a tropical location that highlighted Sheen's arm tattoos. All possible proposal permutations aside, Sheen put a ring on it in Hawaii this past weekend.

The "Anger Management" star and the My First Lesbian Experience star have been official since November of 2013, when they were spotted smooching in Cabo and tweeted their thanks for one another. And speaking of tweets, Sheen announced his love for Rossi and his children in this Valentine's Day tweet, a precursor to his engagement.

Sheen's eccentric Twitter style of breaking up his 140 characters into lines and stanzas brings to mind another famous poet, E.E. Cummings. In honor of love, and Valentine's Day, and this engagement, here is a poem by Cummings (and no, that's not the name of one of Rossi's works). Thank you, Poetry Society of America.

love is a place

love is a place& through this place oflove move(with brightness of peace)all placesyes is a world& in this world ofyes live(skilfully curled)all worlds

Here's to you, Sheen and Rossi. Sheen, as you once said, "The global inferno that is me, is now as molten and focused as my afterburners." This was clearly foreshadowing your blazing love for Rossi, through which all places are moving and in which all worlds are curled. May marriage number four be the one that grounds and sustains you, and may you spend each Valentine's Day together until you are 92 and 68, respectively. As for the haters, you can laugh at them together as you ride off into a thousand sunsets.

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