As a self-proclaimed Bachelor expert, I'd like to think I'm a pretty good judge of ABC's leading men. And although his season was a little dull, I always thought Chris Soules was one of the most normal Bachelors to ever look for love on the show. After all, he's just a friendly, good looking guy's guy from Iowa who's super into his farm — kinda boring, but totally harmless. But, after following him on Twitter, I'm slowly starting to realize I may have been wrong. Chris Soules' tweets are insane, and if you haven't realized it, it's time you did.
Don't get me wrong — a lot of what he posts is just kind of #farmlife-themed stuff, plus pictures of his niece. But, the way he puts things is occasionally really confusing, and I'm a little concerned about him. Chris, are you OK? Did The Bachelor do this to you, or was it Dancing With The Stars? Did you have one too many two-on-one dates? You can tell me, Chris. This is a safe space.
Here are some of Chris' most insane tweets, just in case you don't believe me. Follow him. It's worth it —if just for the laughs.
Chris. You see these every day on the farm.
2. The Sexiest Investment In The World
Um, are you sure?
3. Gotta Get 'Em In The Ground
I realize these are Blake Shelton lyrics, but at this point it's just making me uncomfortable.
4. Adult Ring Bearer
Chris, no. Leave them alone.
5. Warm... nuts... on a plane?
6. More Corn
Why is every tweet about corn, though?
7. Daisy Dukes
This tweet sounds like it was written by a grandpa.
8. Edible Bachelors
9. Edible Men Part 2
I think by this point he realized his typo...
10. Farmers At The Oscars
These awards are for actors, Chris, not just people in various trades.
11. Again With The Corn
It never stops.
12. He's Totally Unaware Of Pop Culture
You're telling me a man who willingly participated in both The Bachelorette and The Bachelor doesn't know what Teen Mom is? I'm not buying it.
13. Dark Magic
I'm guessing this means farm selfie. Make it stop!
15. Bachelor Probs
Is he seriously using scissors instead of knives?
16. Serious Broccoli Collection
Chris, you live on a farm and you buy frozen broccoli?!
17. Toilet Condom
Once again, no comment.
18. Two-On-One Dates
TBH this sounds better than the Badlands.
19. Hanging With Children As A Last Resort
Please tell me he hangs out with these adorable kids even when the ground isn't too wet.
20. Straight From The Mississippi
This just makes me sad.
21. And One Of Too Many Tractor Tweets
In case you couldn't tell by these tweets, Chris owns a farm.
I hope so much that Chris finds the woman he's been looking for so she can maybe introduce him to the parts of life that involve things other than corn, using words like #felfie, and cooking with scissors. He needs all the help he can get, and I just want the best for him... and his Twitter.