The Worst Things About Having a Birthday Today

Happy Birthday to me! (That's Happy St. Patrick’s Day to the rest of you.) Although at first glance it seems like there couldn’t possibly be a cooler day to celebrate the anniversary of your entrance into this world, believe you me: Having your birthday fall on a drinking holiday gets real old, real fast. Allow me to explain why having a birthday on March 17 is simply the worst.

The bars are bonkers crowded

So you’d better not have any personal space issues if you want to go out.

The only drink anyone wants to buy you is green beer

Beer that’s light enough in color to be able to be dyed green is no beer at all. It’s pretend beer.

The people who want to go with you are probably just looking for an excuse to party...

...And the people you would want to hang out with won't want to go out.

They love you, but remember that whole BONKERS CROWDED thing?

If you’re friends with any bartenders, forget about seeing them on your birthday.

They’ll always be working.

When you’re in college, your birthday usually coincides with spring break. Although that means you don’t have to go class…

…It also means that none of your friends are ever around to celebrate with you.

If you decide to stay in and avoid the insanity, everyone acts like you’re crazy.

Even if you tell them this:

You’ll never be able to have any sort of themed party…

…Because by the end of the night, it will always turn into this:

You also definitely won’t be the only one throwing a party that night, which might result in your turnout looking like this:

And let’s face it...

But the good news is:

You’ll know that whoever decides to celebrate your birthday with you and doesn't bring up St. Patrick’s Day at any point is definitely a friend worth keeping.

And, as they say, that's not nothin'.

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