Entertainment

Twitter Is Losing It Over Drake's Missing Beard

by Maitri Suhas

Drake giveth and Drake taketh away. After he finally dropped VIEWS after literally years of anticipation, Aubrey Drake Graham has shaved his beard Friday the Thirteenth, 2016 according to screengrabs obtained by numerous sources of @champagnepapi's since deleted Instagram. You might not be superstitious, but even skeptics can't deny that is just bad luck. And people are freaking out. According to the grabs of his deleted Instagram, Drake apparently went back to beardless baby face for his upcoming Saturday Night Live episode which he'll be host and musical guest of on May 14. He posted an Instagram of his new smooth mug with the caption: "Beard making an epic comeback in two weeks... only for you @NBCSNL."

Hearts are broken. People are tearing their hair and beating their chests like characters in a Greek tragedy. Therapists are receiving texts right now, wondering, "Who is Drake, and why is his beard undoing all the good work I've done with these people?"

People don't know what to do. Anger, shock, and an unfathomable sadness have taken over the Twitter Timeline. (I'm in the last camp. I can't be mad at Aubrey. I just want to know why.) The post may be gone, but thanks to the Internet, the photo is not. Here he is in all his beardlessness:

What will become of us now? How to digest this news?

People are making demands. Two weeks is not a quick enough turnaround.

Chaos reigns. The paradigm has been shattered. Not everything happens for a reason.

There are many ways to mourn.

We never thought that you would hurt us like this, Drake. You of all people.

Some are just being mean, but they're not totally wrong...

For some, it's an opportunity to reflect.

And look, I get it. Anger is a natural response.

You know what, just live your life. Don't try to understand it.

Take care out there today, y'all. Drake said the beard would be back in two weeks, but I've got trust issues with Aubrey because, as we've seen from the everlasting wait for VIEWS, this man really doesn't care much about respecting deadlines.