My fellow fans, you’re going to hear throughout your day that creators D.B. Weiss and David Benioff apologized for killing Hodor on Game of Thrones. Do not believe it. They are not sorry, and they say as much. You’re being led to believe this fallacy because of a video put together by the dastardly Jimmy Kimmel. You see, on Jimmy Kimmel Live!, Weiss and Benioff were part of a parody skit where, instead of apologizing for killing Hodor, they apologize for the lame, “annoying” joke that everyone running for an open door is going to tell in the near future. Cute. Real cute, you guys.
In the video, the two explain that they’ve killed off "739 main characters," and Hodor isn’t an exception to the rule. And that they aren't going to apologize for killing off main characters. Fine, I can respect that. But, that doesn't mean they shouldn't be sorry for some other irreconcilable things or at least what led up to the deaths of those main characters, making their demises inexplicably worse. Listen, if I can’t get an apology for Hodor’s heartbreaking end, then I’m going to get one for something.
Game of Thrones really loves to twist the sword further into the wounds they've ripped open, so here’s what I think they should apologize for:
1. Robb Stark's Brief Moment Of Happiness
Honestly, HONESTLY? You give him an epic love, an unborn child, and the prospect of an entire kingdom and then you do that?
2. Bran's Attempted Murder
I know he had to lose his mobility in order for him to fulfill his destiny and all that, but watching a little boy get pushed out of a tower that early on in the series was something I still can't comprehend.
3. Theon Greyjoy's Penis
Well, I suppose they should really apologize to Theon for this.
4. Myrcella And Jaime's Father-Daughter Moment
I just... How could you? Jaime never got the chance to be a father to any of his children. So, what'd they do? They let Jaime experience fatherhood for 30 seconds, and then Myrcella croaked in his arms. PAIN.
5. Ramsay Bolton, In General
But mostly for what he did to Sansa.
6. Any Direwolf Death
Main character deaths? Whatever. Wolf/dog deaths? Not cool, bros.
7. Not Killing Joffrey Sooner
He got away with his sh*t for far too long. Though I will say his death was quite sweet.
That's just the short list, though. I will settle for a real apology about Hodor's death and work my way down this list from there. I'm waiting, guys.