Why It's Important To Befriend Your Best Friend's Partner
When your bestie starts dating someone seriously, it can be a challenge to maintain your friendship. Certain things are bound to change — and that can be upsetting, for both parties. And if you're not used to sharing your bestie, it can be a particularly difficult adjustment period. Gone are the endless hangs, the night after night of binge-watching TV, of partying your singledom away at the bar, and comparing notes on one night stands and terrible Tinder dates. You're no longer Snookin' for love, together. You're no longer on the same page. But that doesn't mean your friendship can't adapt and become a new, great thing.
Your gut feeling might be to reject her partner. This person is taking your bestie away from you, of course you're not going to feel all light and fuzzy. But if they're a good match, and make each other happy, it's your job as a true bestie to support their relationship. The best away you can show your love and make your friendship even stronger that it was before, is to befriend your bestie's new partner, yes, I know, it sounds like a drag.
It might not feel natural at first. There might be a lot of awkward moments. But if your bestie wants you to get to know their partner, you should truly make a concerted effort to do it, and not just to make everyone else happy. You should do it because having a friendship with someone your bestie loves can be very rewarding. Chances are, you two have a lot in common. You could have another bestie right under your nose that you're too stubborn to see.
So don't fake it, and don't half ass it, but take the time to get to know them. Ask them about their lives. Ask them about their interests. Here are somethings the three of you can do together:
Go On A Hike
Hiking is a great activity for new friends. You're too busy trying navigate, catch your breath, and avoid stepping on snakes, so there are no awkward silences. You're all focused on getting to where you're going, but at the same time, because you're not in a rush, natural conversation just flows. Plus hiking is not romantic, so you won't have to worry about being a third wheel.
A Bite After A Movie
Go see a movie together, just the three of you. And then after, go get a bite or a drink and talk about it. You can learn about about someone from their taste in film and the way the react to it. You might realize you have tons in common.
Go To Trivia Night
Trivia in general is a great way to get closer to people you're friendly with. When you're working as a team and have the same goal in mind, and you're in party mode, you're destined to have a good time and walk away feeling like teammates, even if you walked in feeling like opposers.
Have A Dinner Party
If you don't want to put too much pressure on your bestie's partner, or yourself, invite over a group of people, and include them. That way you can establish a casual, social vibe and their partner can just jump in an out of the conversation as they please, without having so much attention on them. It's also good to see how someone is when they're in a group and when they're alone.
Most importantly, no matter what you do, give it time. You might not hit it off right away. It might take weeks or months for you two to be comfortable around each other but if you make it a priority, it will strengthen your friendship with your bestie and you'll be able to be happy for her, without being sad for you.
Images: Giphy, The WB