Lyrics From Nick Jonas’ “Bacon” That Would Make For Wonderfully Confusing Text Messages

Tell your ears to go crack some eggs and throw some bread in the toaster, because thanks to one third of the Jonas Brothers, it's about to get all sorts of breakfasty in here: On Thursday, Nick Jonas released a song called “Bacon.” The mid-tempo cut, which features a verse by Ty Dolla $ign, is the latest single off of Jonas's to-be-released sophomore solo album, Last Year Was Complicated. And much like previously released jams "Champagne Problems" and "Close," "Bacon" is yet another reason to be stoked for LYWC.

Now, before I fired up the track, I prepared myself for what I (incorrectly) assumed would be a heaping serving of greasy double entendres. A suggestive song about "bacon," *wink wink.* Well, the joke’s on me; As I listened to "Bacon" for the first time, I waited for the frying pan-themed innuendos, but the innuendos never happened.

So, what is "Bacon" about? Shortly after the track list for Last Year Was Complicated was revealed this spring, Capital FM asked Jonas to share the meaning behind a certain song title. (Can you guess which one?) Here’s what the former Disney Channel star told Capital FM (via Press Party):

So many people have asked me what the song is about. A lot of guesses were: it’s the morning after and it’s bacon because you’re having breakfast. That’s not at all what it’s about. The idea is when you are out of a relationship and you start to be okay with the fact that it’s ended. In my case, my life was great, it’s so good that we should throw some bacon on it to make it even better.

So the secret to being chill with singledom is bacon? I mean, OK. Sure. Bacon is pretty legit.

What the “Bacon” lyrics lack in thinly veiled innuendo they make up for in wonderfully weird text message material. If you want to catch someone off guard via text, send ‘em any of the following “Bacon” lyrics out of the blue.

1. “Pretty Mind, Silk Thoughts”

The hypothetical text recipient's hypothetical reaction: Excuse me, what?

2. “The Way He Made You He Did A Fine Job”

The hypothetical text recipient's hypothetical reaction: Thanks? I guess?

3. “Feel Like… Aw, Sh*t”

The hypothetical text recipient's hypothetical reaction: Are those two separate thoughts? Or are you trying to tell me you feel like an adorable turd?

4. “Throw Some Bacon On It”

The hypothetical text recipient's hypothetical reaction: Sure? I don't know what "it" is, but sure.

5. “Start A Fire When You Turn The Lights Off”

The hypothetical text recipient's hypothetical reaction: What? Why would I do that?

6. “Sizzling, White Hot"

The hypothetical text recipient's hypothetical reaction: If you're making hot dogs, just say you're making hot dogs.

7. “I Got Sleep Eyes; I Woke Up Like This”

The hypothetical text recipient's hypothetical reaction: Wait, Beyoncé? What is sleep eyes? What is happening.

Wondering why anyone would possibly want to send a needlessly confounding text? Uh, try it and get back to me. And while you're having a blast trolling your contacts, why not throw some delicious bacon into your maw. You've earned it, sleep eyes.

Images: busbyart, fyspringfield, zaikai3, lifetimetv, dreamworkspenguins, plumkat, your-reaction-gifs/tumblr