12 Things You Can Tell About Your Partner From Meeting Their Best Friend
If you've recently started seeing someone, everything you know about them is something that either they've told you, or you've peeped online. Their entire identity is as described through the lens of a biased narrator — themselves. So it won't be until you start to spend time with this person in different social situations that you start to get some other opinions on who they are. Not because they're hiding anything from you, but just because one person can only offer so much perspective on themselves.
This is not to say you should be doubtful of the way someone presents themselves — it's just to say that you can really enrich the way you conceptualize someone when you see them interacting with other people. But above all social interactions, the way your new partner interacts with their best friend and the way their best friend regards them is hugely telling.
The best friend is the keeper of secrets and the best judge of character. My mother always says, "you are the company you keep," so your opinion of your partner's best friend is important too. Your partner's best friend is also a reflection of your partner, you might see a side of them you hadn't noticed before. These are 12 things you can learn about your partner from meeting their best friend.
What Kind Of Friend They Are
If it's important to you that your partner is a good friend and maintains their friendships outside of the relationship, you'll probably get a pretty good idea how much his friendships have changed or remained.
How They Value Friendship
How important is this person's friends to them? Do they take time out to be there for them? Do they know what's going on in each other's lives? Do they have a strong support system? Or do they just see friends as people to pass time with when you can't hang out? Notice how your partner and their friend interact; look for tension or ease.
How Comfortable They Are With Themselves
If your partner is comfortable with themselves, they won't be embarrassed around both you and their friend. But if they're worried you might find out something they they don't want you to know, they're probably going to be a bit more uptight when the three of you are together. It's not necessarily a bad thing, and can easily change over time. Getting comfortable takes getting used to.
How Consistent Their Personality Is
Does your partner act like the same person you're getting to know, or does their entire demeanor change when their friends are around? The more consistent their behavior is, the more comfortable you'll feel in trusting that you're truly getting to know the real them.
Where Their Sense Of Humor Lies
You might not know the depths of your partner's sense of humor until you see them interacting with their friends. There's a good chance they're hiding some poop humor from you — this might delight or horrify you.
What They Value
Learn about what your partner's core values are by studying their friend's. Either they're highly tolerable and open-minded because their friends values are different, or they like to surround themselves with people who have similar values.
How They Behaved Before You
Watch out for hints of change. You might catch your partner's friend saying things like "you never used to do this," or "since when do you like this?". Change is inevitable, and normal, but it's also good to know about. You want to know as much as you can about your partner, not just who they are in the moment.
What Other People See As Strengths
Your partner's friend will probably try to show their support by making sure you know how lucky you are to be dating them. Friends can be protective of each other, which is really endearing. Take note of the way they defend each other; it's a great way to target what their friends see as their best qualities.
What do their friends tease them for? Are they slow readers? Are they bad sports? Do they suck at cooking? Your partner's friend might point out some fun facts about your partner they you might not otherwise notice.
How Much They've Grown Up
When you meet your partner's friend, you'll probably be in for a few tales. Friends love to throw each other under the bus for the sake of a good story. You might hear a few tales of wild drunk nights, don't take them too seriously. But do give your partner credit if they've put a lot of work into becoming a responsible adult!
What Type Of Extra-Curricular Fun They Like To Have
There are some things that your partner won't tell you — because they think you don't care, it never comes up, or it's not applicable. But when you talk to your partner's friend, you might learn that they have some interesting and unsuspecting hobbies, be it a bottle cap collection or video game legacy.
How The Relationship Compares
Your partner's friend might make comments regarding how different your relationship is compared to the last. Hopefully, if this happens, it's meant to be a compliment. Take it with a grain of salt, but do include this information when gauging your perspective of the relationship.