We all know that one person who is well-liked by everyone, and it's hard not to try and pinpoint what it is about them that makes them mesh so well with each person they meet. To try and better understand their charm, we can look at the common traits and habits of well-liked people, and perhaps we can even start applying them to ourselves. Likable people are cognizant of how they come off, and they maintain certain behaviors that attract people to them no matter who they're interacting with.
"It comes down to them having good emotional intelligence," says psychotherapist and relationship coach Toni Coleman, LCSW, CMC over email. "By this I mean that they have strong self-awareness, and a good awareness of what others are feeling, especially in response to them. They can calibrate what they say and how they say it in order to improve their interactions and relationships with others."
If you too want to be more likable, you don't have to change who you are, you just need to pick up on some behaviors that can help you get along with others. With that being said, you may want to consider these 10 habits of well-liked people that everyone should adopt.
1. They Speak Honestly
"Honest people have a much wider 'likability' reach than those who aren’t honest," says relationship expert April Masini over email. "In other words people respect and like honest people way more than they like and respect those who seem shady. People feel that they don’t have to second guess or doubt honest people."
2. They Give
"People love those who give of themselves," says Masini. "It may be time, money, opinions — or material things. Generous people see the bigger picture and they understand that being selfish or grubby doesn’t serve anyone in the long run."
3. They Laugh
"Well-liked people have a sense of humor that shows they have perspective," says Masini. "They know how not to sweat the small stuff because they see how silly it is when someone makes a bad call, and they’re able to show their ability to understand perspective, with humor."
4. They Listen
Well-liked people people listen more and speak less. "They don’t monopolize conversations or talk over or interrupt others," says Coleman. "Their strong listening demonstrates to others that they want to hear and care about what they have to say."
5. They Prioritize
"People who are admired have their priorities in place," says Masini. "You may not see their process, but you will see the outcome. They get done what is important, and this is a great quality for all of us to adopt and emulate. You may see that they delegate time for intensive chores like shopping or cleaning — or they just let the dishes go in order to have the career or the relationship that you admire them for."
6. They're Responsible
"if you don’t pay your rent on time, or celebrate your mom on Mother’s Day, you’ve dropped the 'character' ball," says Masini. "People who are responsible and take care of business are admirable and have qualities we should all strive for. They usually have their calendars well oiled and communication mechanisms with their family, work, and friends, in tact. This allows them to remember birthdays, make sure bills and taxes are paid, and that they make time for the relationships in their lives."
7. They Keep Up To Date On Current Events
"It’s always a treat to be in the company of someone who’s up to date on current events, news, arts and literature," says Masini. "Someone who can listen with interest and contribute to conversations on a wide variety of subjects is a lot more fun to be around than someone who’s a complete blank on the state of the world. Spend some time reading, listening and asking questions — or take classes and expand your social circle to expand your own realm of knowledge and ability to be part of more conversations."
8. They Keep Eye Contact
"People who maintain good eye contact while engaged with others send a message of interest and respect," says Coleman. "They help them to feel valued and as though what they have to contribute is worthwhile."
9. They Use Non-Verbal Communication
Likable people communicate using not just their words but their body language as well. "They know how to use their eyes, facial expressions, and posture to express themselves and engage more comfortably with others," says Coleman. "They offer a firm handshake, keep a respectable and comfortable distance when speaking with someone, and they appropriately include others in a group setting, so that no one feels slighted or left out."
10. They Show Self-Confidence
A little bit of confidence goes a long way. "They do this through how they carry themselves, how they encourage others to be the center of attention or be right — or at least acknowledged — in conversation," says Coleman.
Check Out: The Confidence Gap: A Guide to Overcoming Fear and Self-Doubt, $10, Amazon
These habits come more naturally to some than others, but making an effort to pick up on these behaviors can help make them a part of how you communicate and socialize with people.
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