16 Things From The '90s You're So Mad Your Parents Threw Away
When I temporarily moved home after college, my parents had one stipulation: clean out your room, get rid of all of your crap from the '90s. They, like all the other empty nesters in real life and in movies, wanted to turn my room into a childless exercise/library/guest room. We all knew they'd never exercise in there, they'd never read a book in there, and they'd certainly not have any guests in there. It was more of an exercise of power. Nonetheless, I had no choice. I was back in their house, living under their rules, and if I wanted to use the car and eat their food and rack up movie charges on their cable bill, I had to promise to keep working on my room, little by little, so that when I got a job and moved out, my room would be empty and ready for its transformation.
I came home ready to work. I came home emotionally prepared to part ways with my precious treasures from high school. Or so I thought. I came home to a room that was already partially empty. My parents thought they were being helpful by starting the process. They expected me to give them a thank you for getting it going, for doing some of the dirty work. But I was too busy crying over my Giga Pet that I never got a chance to say goodbye to. These are 16 things from the '90s that you were so mad your parents threw away, because like, they just don't get how important these things are:
I was most mad about the Beanie Babies. I thought for sure they were going to be my secret fortune. I thought I'd sell them online and take my millions to retire in a case in Ireland, or something.
Genius Mad Libs
It might have looked like garbage, but my Mad Lib collection was on point. I was so proud of my tween profanity, I surely thought I could use them for my Mortified audition.
These gems help the secrets of my future! I wanted to come home and look through them and see if anything came true! Now I'll never know my powers!
These notes were so important to me. They contained the roots of my most important friendships. I dreamed of bringing them to my friends and having a live reading. Dream destroyed, thanks mom.
Inflatable Plastic Furniture
OK, listen, I get her argument that they were deflated because they popped because I left my hair straightener on top of them over a decade ago, but I could have fixed them. I would have totally had them repaired and used them as pool furniture in my castle in Ireland.
This was a fully functioning watch! They had no reason to throw it away! Sure, it was a little dirty. Sure, I haven't worn it in a while. But I was looking forward to getting a chance to wear it again. What other watch will I find with the same illuminated graphics? It was so unique.
My mother swears it was hard as rock when she found it but I don't believe her. Nickelodeon Gack was high quality and would have stayed stretchy and gooey forever!
I know I used to complain about the fact that it skipped all the time and that it was so outdated, but it would have been nice to have something to listen to my CDs on — you know, if the power went out in a storm or something.
I was a really skilled friendship bracelet maker. I was always in my room, weaving away, making my friends bracelets that I'd peer pressure them into wearing. They were also my go-to gift to make when I forgot someone's birthday. I'd run upstairs and whip up a Chinese Staircase masterpiece and impress the hell out of my friends.
This was so ahead of its time. I didn't even know how cool studs and denim were going to be. If I still had my Bedazzler, I'd decorate the hell out of my jean jackets. I'd probably feel so cool that I'd start a band. Yes, I'd definitely be in a band by now if my mother hadn't thrown it away.
Jelly Roll Pens
She said they were dried-out. She said they were useless. I don't believe her! Jelly is forever! She always had it out for them, she was always wagging her finger at me when I used them on my homework. She said they looked childish.
It's a PG weapon! It's a fashion statement! It's an itch-scratcher! I miss my slap bracelets. They were fun to wear and even more fun to attack people with.
Isn't the whole point of a shrine that it has to stay untouched in order for the magic spell to work? If JTT doesn't become my husband, it's because my mother threw my beautiful diorama away. All that hard work. All the cutting and glueing and tearing. What a waste!
Bath & Body Works Collection
Vanilla and cucumber scents were bound to come back in style. I would have appreciated the opportunity to decide for myself if glittery cucumber foot spray was still my jam or not.
McDonald's Happy Meal Toys
These were gifts! From McDonald's to me! How could she just throw them away?! They're part of a collection. Maybe I had plans to sell them one day. Maybe they'd afford me a home in Greece, too.
Butterfly Hair Clips
These were the most practical, adorable hair accessories on the market. They were amazing for school dances and they were even better for adult life face washing. I would have rocked them until the end of time, had my mother not deemed them suitable for the trash.
Images: Nickelodeon, Giphy