When I temporarily moved home after college, my parents had one stipulation: clean out your room, get rid of all of your crap from the '90s. They, like all the other empty nesters in real life and in movies, wanted to turn my room into a childless exercise/library/guest room. We all knew they'd never exercise in there, they'd never read a book in there, and they'd certainly not have any guests in there. It was more of an exercise of power. Nonetheless, I had no choice. I was back in their house, living under their rules, and if I wanted to use the car and eat their food and rack up movie charges on their cable bill, I had to promise to keep working on my room, little by little, so that when I got a job and moved out, my room would be empty and ready for its transformation.
I came home ready to work. I came home emotionally prepared to part ways with my precious treasures from high school. Or so I thought. I came home to a room that was already partially empty. My parents thought they were being helpful by starting the process. They expected me to give them a thank you for getting it going, for doing some of the dirty work. But I was too busy crying over my Giga Pet that I never got a chance to say goodbye to. These are 16 things from the '90s that you were so mad your parents threw away, because like, they just don't get how important these things are:
I was most mad about the Beanie Babies. I thought for sure they were going to be my secret fortune. I thought I'd sell them online and take my millions to retire in a case in Ireland, or something.
Genius Mad Libs
These gems help the secrets of my future! I wanted to come home and look through them and see if anything came true! Now I'll never know my powers!
These notes were so important to me. They contained the roots of my most important friendships. I dreamed of bringing them to my friends and having a live reading. Dream destroyed, thanks mom.
Inflatable Plastic Furniture
Jelly Roll Pens
Isn't the whole point of a shrine that it has to stay untouched in order for the magic spell to work? If JTT doesn't become my husband, it's because my mother threw my beautiful diorama away. All that hard work. All the cutting and glueing and tearing. What a waste!
Bath & Body Works Collection
McDonald's Happy Meal Toys
These were gifts! From McDonald's to me! How could she just throw them away?! They're part of a collection. Maybe I had plans to sell them one day. Maybe they'd afford me a home in Greece, too.
Butterfly Hair Clips
These were the most practical, adorable hair accessories on the market. They were amazing for school dances and they were even better for adult life face washing. I would have rocked them until the end of time, had my mother not deemed them suitable for the trash.
Images: Nickelodeon, Giphy