The Tiny Hands Super PAC Is Here To Troll Donald Trump, & It's Amazing
It's been a while since the election has been funny. It was a particularly rough primary election, with both Republicans and Democrats getting down in the dirt to show why their fellow party members aren't fit for office, and now that it's turning to the general election, it's only going to get worse. And, OK, politics isn't designed for our entertainment, but it seems that in the 2016 cycle, it's hard to catch a break. But in a much needed moment of levity, the Tiny Hands Super PAC is trolling Donald Trump.
That's right, America, thanks to a very real super PAC, we might finally know the essential truth about Trump's hand size. The Donald Trump Has Tiny Hands super PAC, which filed for organization membership with the Federal Election Commission in March, released a video this week calling for the presumptive Republican nominee to release his hand size. At this point, the likelihood of him releasing the measurements of his mitts seems more plausible than him releasing his tax returns.
The video begins like most of the super PAC-produced campaign materials that we've come to expect, with the slice-of-life shots of real Americans addressing candidates about the real issues affecting out country, which, in this case, is the need to know how big The Donald's palms are.
B-roll of unidentified unrest and guns is interrupted by a supposed voter offering from her tasteful, middle class living room: "I want a president who we keep me and my family safe." And how will we know if Trump can protect America while fixing the economy? By understanding a little more about his ring size.
The YouTube video for the ad, paid for by Americans Against Insecure Billionaires With Tiny Hands PAC, links to a website where you can sign a petition calling for Trump to release his hand measurements and donate to the quest for the truth. The group describes itself as "right-handers, left-handers, and ambidextrii" who are driven to assure that "no voter casts a ballot without knowing the hard truth about Donald Trump's soft wimpy infant hands."
Apparently, these patriots have even had to fight off the FEC in their journey to expose the truth. The group was asked to change its name from Donald Trump Has Tiny Hands because, according to FEC regulations, the name of a candidate can't be in the PAC without approval from the person it references. Sad!
Bless you, Tiny Hands Truthers, for keeping a non-tiny finger on the pulse of what real Americans need to know in this election.