Entertainment

Guess Who Else Doesn't Want Him?

by Kristie Rohwedder

Juan Pab-uh oh! E! News reports Juan Pablo Galavis will not be on Dancing With the Stars . There’d been a legitimate chance that the current Bachelor would show off his moves during the 18th season of the dance competition show, but allegedly, he is “no longer wanted” because “he’s just too risky.” Galavis isn’t exactly the most popular guy right now, so this supposed decision wouldn't be the most earth-shattering thing to ever happen.

Yes, sometimes “risky” can be a positive thing for a show (“What’ll that knucklehead say next?!?! I can’t wait to watch next week’s ep! MOAR!!!”), but in Galavis’s case, the risk might not be worth it. The risk might drive us away rather than pique our collective interest. Why? Because many of us are currently experiencing Juan Pablo Galavis Fatigue. We’ve watched week after frustrating week of The Bachelor, we've read his ignorant comments, and we’re POOPED. Some of us (me) aren't sure how much more we can take. And some of us (me) don't know if we'd be into watching him on yet another show. Maybe in a few years? You know, when the JPGF subsides?

Oh wait. Something just dawned on me: Galavis on DWTS would mean so. Many. Pun. Opportunities. AUGHHHHHHH. A few examples:

  • (Teammate counting the music) “Juan, two, three, four!”
  • “Juan Pablo-Doble”
  • “Juan Pablo and [teammate] Juan-t your votes!”
  • “How will he do with the Waltz? The Juan Pablo-bilities are endless.”
  • Swan Lake? More like Juan Lake.”
  • “Will he dance another week? Or will he be sent Juan Pab-home?”
  • “Pablo Bourree”
  • “Pablo and lock”

Ugh, the puns almost cure my JPGF. Almost.