Following the great tradition of making movies out of video games (see: Resident Evil), and movies out of board games (see, or don't: Battleship) — and, most recently, following on the heels of the smash success The Lego Movie — Warner Brothers will make a movie out of Minecraft. Yes, everyone's favorite open world, hyper-blocky computer game is making its way to the big screen, as initially leaked over Twitter by the game's creator, Markus Persson. With the PC version alone clocking in at over 100 million users, it's a fairly safe bet that this movie will gross a decent amount, at least in curiosity viewing — and yet, this announcement seems likely to garner more eye-rolls than cheers.
Because the point of Minecraft, if anything, seems to be that it's primarily a low-impact, world-creating game — like the Sims, but with fewer gibberish temper tantrums and fly-covered piles of garbage. (Or was that just my ineptitude?) Sure, there are modes in which you might die, but even then, the basic directives are nothing to gawp over: "Walk around! Build a thing! Also, try not to die!" Not the most compelling elevator pitch I've ever heard.
While The Lego Movie did indeed manage to pull a compelling premise out of a blocky toy, the takeaway from that shouldn't be "people like movies about blocky toys." The attempt to moviefy Minecraft seems like yet another instance of Hollywood missing the mark just a little: "People liked the slow-mo bullet fights in the Matrix? Let's give 'em more slow-mo bullet fights — from a mystical clan of weavers!" (Oh, Wanted. Sigh.)
Still, when at last the Minecraft movie hits theaters, one can only hope it looks a little something like this: