When you're in a relationship, you're going to fight — that's a given. It doesn't matter how compatible you are; there will be things that come up that you don't agree on, and you will feel comfortable enough with each other that you will fight about about it. And that's fine.
People often get freaked out when they start to fight with their partner. They think that love should be easy and that fighting is a bad sign. But in many cases, fighting is a sign that you both care about the relationship and are impassioned to work through your feelings and get to a better place. Obviously, if you're fighting constantly, it's possible you're not well matched. But there's definitely a slew of common fights that lots of couples have that should not freak you out.
Because it doesn't matter how kumbuya you are — if you're being honest with yourself, if you're connected to your feelings and you full heartedly disagree with your partner about something, you're going to get in to a fight. But by fight I don't mean physical, or even verbally or emotionally abusive — just an intense disagreement that you can constructively solve. These are 11 fights you might get into with your partner that are no big deal and totally normal:
You and your partner will struggle with finding the perfect balance for alone time and together time. You might take turns feeling suffocated until you figure out something that works for both of you. If you're constantly in each other's hair, you might get irritated with each other, and a little space is all you need to reset your moods.
You or your partner will like a sexy picture and get caught. You'll comment on an ex's picture and get questioned. You'll leave your computer out with an open conversation on FB messenger between a random person and you will get upset. You will fight about social media and it will feel stupid, but it won't make the fight any less intense.
The Ex Factor
Everyone has a different opinion of exes and where they belong or don't in your life. It's hard to acknowledge that you and your partner existed before you met each other and have valuable and important relationships. But you're human, you had lives and there are people in your past that you will have to acknowledge, no matter how uncomfortable it is.
Leaving Out Details
Sometimes you or your partner will leave out some details when telling a story. It's not an intentional lie or omission, it's just something that seems easier in the moment. You might not mention that girl to guy ratio at a party and get caught in a lie. It's silly, you didn't mean anything by it, but you'll probably get in a stupid fight about it. The point is you didn't want your partner to worry.
Being Attracted To Other People
You're going to be attracted to other people, no matter how in love you are with your partner. It's just part of being human. You and your partner might go back and forth with trying to share this information with each other to be healthy and open, and then keeping it from each other when one of you becomes offended.
The Green Monster
You're bound to get jealous. Even after being with someone for years, you might find yourself feeling jealous of their time or their life, or vice versa. But talking it through is healthy — if jealousy goes untreated, it can be dangerous in a relationship.
Getting Your Priorities Right
Your priorities are not always going to be synced. You'll fight time to time about getting the balance right. Sometimes it will feel like your partner is intentionally lowering you on their priority list, and it might take a fight or two to work through it.
Habits and Lifestyle
Just because you love another doesn't mean you love everything about each other or how you spend your time or who you spend your time with. You and your partner will fight about your extracurriculars until you figure out how to work around them and respect your differences. If your partner plays a loud instrument or likes to have 30 friends over to watch The Bachelor or play fantasy football, your fights might be more intense.
Dolla Dolla Bills
Trying to have the same attitude about money and finances with someone all the time in nearly impossible. You won't always agree on what money should be spent on and whats a good deal and what's a waste of money. And because money is stressful, these kinds of fights will be intense. But they're normal.
That One Friend
There's always a friend that seems to get in the way of your relationship. Either this friend is a bad influence on your partner or they spend too much time together, but there will be a friend that gets in the way and it will be a touchy subject that you'll have to work through together.
Just because you don't have the same vision for the future doesn't mean one day your ideals will align. There will be times where your ideas collide and don't work together. This is normal. You both had long lives of looking forward before you met each other. You're not going to have a clear and mutual future plan instantly — just make sure that whatever you disagree on is something that can be compromised, and go about it as thoughtfully as you can.
Image: Giphy, The CW