With the sixth season of Game of Thrones drawing to a close this Sunday, I, like many other viewers, have many questions about what'll happen next on the HBO series. But rather than dive into the fan forums and the comment threads and wherever else spoilers may rest their heads, I decided I’d ask the robot that lives inside my cell phone. The robot who spends her days waiting to answer any inquiries that might pop into my cranium, no matter the hour. The robot who occasionally gives me attitude, and other times, gives me the answer I’m looking for. Yes, I reached out to Siri and asked her to share what she believes will happen in the upcoming Game of Thrones finale. And in true Siri style, she kept things mighty, uh, interesting.
When I brought up the beloved series, what did my darling Siri say? At first, she seemed on board with the discussion; Not only did she she effortlessly toss GoT references my way, but she pitched a spinoff for Arya’s direwolf.
Wow, I thought, I had no idea Siri was a Thronehead! And to think we could've been chatting about this show this whole time.
...But then, things started to devolve into weirdness. With each question, Siri grew more and more coy; I couldn’t (and still can’t) figure out whether or not she actually watches the show. She's a tricky bot, that Siri.
I dig that, I dig that. Not to be rude, but you didn’t answer my question. Yes or no, Siri?
OK, but do you watch it? Or are you just repeating the what your robot coworkers said about the Red Wedding whilst standing around the robo-water cooler?
But. Do. You. Watch. The. Show.
I mean, I too would love a direwolf spinoff, but how are you not sure if you watch the show?!?!
Siri. Now you’re just being a punk.
You say this now, but how am I supposed to trust you? One second you're dropping hyper-specific GoT references, the next you're saying you don't have the time for the show. You're all over the place, Siri!
Congratulations, Siri. That is the hottest take on the planet.
Thank you. I thought so, too. Wish I could say the same about your answer.
(My actual inquiry: “Will Sansa Stark and Arya be reunited?” Clearly, I need to work on my enunciation.)
So this is how we're going to do things, huh?
I went with an easy Q: “Will Daenerys’s dragons kill anybody?” (The answer: DUH.) And yet, Siri couldn’t be bothered to take it seriously.
I sure hope Siri recaps the finale. Whether she watches the show or not, I'm sure it'll be... interesting.
Images: Helen Sloan/HBO; Apple (12)