Yes, it seems that they gave into years of pushy fan mail because Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis are engaged. It makes sense that, after spending eight years in a fake on-and-off relationship, they grew comfortable enough with their respective saliva and chin scruff to take a swing at a real relationship. That '70s Show has grown into that post-millennial moment, when life imitates and expands upon art.
The writers of That '70s Show must be shaking hands around a celebratory bottle of champagne right now, congratulating each other on the inception of the century.
As the days until their wedding tick down, we should consider their on-screen moments that prefigured and predicted this moment, as well as moments that will, perhaps, give us a glimpse at their lives in holy matrimony. It's That Marital Show, if you apply modern clothing and rip away the laugh track.
1.) Jackie claims Kelso's sperm.
Ah, yes. The defining moment in any relationship, when the woman marches to the sperm bank to pick up the man's "special men." As Jackie effectively claims Kelso's future babies, we can see the wheels turning in Kunis's mind. Kelso asks, "You want to have my children?" and Jackie responds, "I mean, if you get rich and don't lose your hair because I love you." Thank god Kutcher held on to those luscious locks, and the PowerShot advertising deal only sweetens the pot.
2.) "Androgynous guys are so manly."
The couple that cross-dresses together has the ability to weather any emotional storms. Kelso is surprisingly pliable in this clip, and is coaxed along with a leash of narcissism until he's fully made up and dancing in a dress. It's important for any couple to be able to try new things, and if Kunis and Kutcher are anything like their characters, they will always be able to spice things up in their marriage. Most importantly, their love can survive the rage of a returning future father-in-law.
3.) "Jackie, get in the van!"
Jackie and Kelso were always refreshing in that they didn't shy away from arguments. In this clip, Jackie is refusing to get in the van until she can store her stuffed animals in it. Preview of parenting much?
4.) They survive Jackie going without makeup.
This is the crucial part of any modern relationship. The "no makeup" test, otherwise known as the "Are you a superficial human being?" test. Even though Kelso, Adonis himself, is repulsed by his newly mannish girlfriend, he sticks it out in the long run. Kunis and Kutcher, they of the blessed cheekbones and long lashes, have probably now seen each other without makeup enough times that it's more than natural. One can hope.
5.) They overcome their jealousy.
While Kelso reads all the wrong messages after he finds the number of the man who delivers sausage to Jackie's family, he fights for her in the only way he knows how: by making multiple phone calls and pulling in Fez. Perhaps it was this jealousy, lingering from their days acting together, that allowed Kunis and Kutcher to find one another after their splits with Macaulay Culkin and Demi Moore.
Based on their filmography together alone, Kutcher and Kunis are already prepared for the ups and down of wedded life. There's always something to be said for returning to your first on-screen love, and Kutcher managed to ditch the balloon this time in favor of a gemstone the size of a ring-pop. With time, love, and a little luck, these fine human specimens will be creating "special men" of their own.