13 Ways To Get Your Sex Drive Back If You're Feeling A Little Off
In life, it's easy to encounter dips in libido due to fluctuations in hormones, work and social stresses, lack of sleep or irregular eating, and exercise habits. Because our minds and bodies are so linked to our hormones and can be influenced by such triggers, it's important to pay attention to sex drive and look for factors that can be messing with your mojo.
As a certified health coach, I work with clients on strengthening their relationships and feeling sexier, more confident and comfortable in their own skin. While some people focus on maintaining intimacy with a partner in order to better their relationships and foster closeness over time, others might want to simply build up their body-image and love in order to be more intimate with themselves and openminded to potential instances of intimacy with a partner.
Feeling flirty, happy, carefree, and sexy is beneficial for promoting our wellbeing and performance (inside and outside the bedroom), as that lighthearted and confident attitude can help us excel at work projects, in networking and social scenarios, and in simply going after the things we want. Here are 13 ways to get back your sex drive stat, so that you can feel better both doing the deed and not.
1. Use Positive Self Talk
If you want to have a greater sex drive, you need to start feeling sexier and more deserving of love, lust, and intimacy. "Feelings of inadequacy are deeply rooted," says licensed marriage and family counselor, Erika Fay, LMFT over email with Bustle. Build yourself up with positivity and appreciation and use mantras such as, "I am strong, sexy and confident."
2. Be Open Minded
Spontaneity and new adventures can really shake things up in the bedroom, and in life in general. A source of low libido might be due to consistency and boredom. Try new role playing scenarios, bring in kinky props, move from the bedroom to a new, secretive (or public) place, like a bathroom or a car, and step outside your comfort zone.
3. Limit Use Of Electronics
"It’s easy to become disconnected with your body with the distractions of work, technology, social life etc," says CEO and founder Tessa Medlock at Pearl Bath Bombs, over email with Bustle. "Feeling sexual is difficult when you’re stressed and your mind is elsewhere," Medlock adds. When you want to engage in sexual activity, put the phones down and be present.
4. Draw A Hot Bath
Having a bath can be intimate, sexy, and of course, hygienic. Ask your partner to join you, or have one solo as a way to connect with your body and relax. "Baths allow you to not only have quiet alone time to explore your own body, but can also relax the mind and naturally increase your sex drive," says Medlock. Have some wine or light music to pair for even more relaxation.
5. Buy New Lingerie
Not only is shopping fun for many people, but shopping for sexy underwear in particular can make us feel more confident and turned on. Pick out something that makes you feel great about yourself and will help excite things in the bedroom. To create major anticipation, you can even snap a photo of yourself in the dressing room and send to your significant other as a preview.
6. Eat Watermelon
Watermelon can be a magnificent aphrodisiac, as it is brimming with antioxidants and amino acids. "It carries the amino acid L-Citrulline, which not only supports heart health but also attributes to improved circulation," says registered dietician Toby Amidor, MS, RD with WTRMLN WTR over email with Bustle. Studies show that lycopene and citrulline can increase blood circulation, which can lead to greater sex drive.
7. Indulge In Chocolate
Experts say that dark chocolate has aphrodisiac powers, and it can boost serotonin, a hormone that improves mood and makes us feel happier and more relaxed. Have a square, learn to bake a chocolate cake or prepare a mousse, or create a fondue for a sexy date night dessert.
8. Switch Birth Controls
Studies show that oral contraceptives, such as the pill, may decrease libido, according to Women's Health. Other medications, such as antidepressants, can also result in these woes, advises experts at WebMD. Look into other forms of protection if you feel the pill might be interfering in your sex drive, and talk to your doctor to receive the whole list of options that might be better suited for your needs.
9. Break A Sweat
Experts claim that people who exercise regularly have higher sex drives, so developing a consistent schedule to get your heart racing can benefit both your health and your sexual performance, as explained by Tina M. Penhollow, PhD. over interview with Health. Better yet? Plan a workout with your significant other, such as a long run, yoga, or a HIIT class to reap the benefits together and get you both fired up.
10. Drink Lots Of Water
Keeping yourself hydrated is key to preventing vaginal dryness and boosting performance, advises Dr. Elist, MD, FACS, FICS, on his website. Muscle pain, fatigue and brain fog can occur from dehydration, and so by keeping liquids on hand, you can balance electrolytes and diminish the likelihood of any of these symptoms. Throw some fresh fruit or veggies, such as lemon, cucumber, mint or watermelon, in the water for an extra perk.
11. Divide Household Chores
Experts say that couples who do not share chore duties are less satisfied than those who do the work as equals, according to Health. While this is not the case for all couples, divvying up chores in a fair manner so that you and your partner can work together as a team might increase sex drive. For instance, one person can set the table, while another cleans the dishes. Or, one person can wash, while the other dries.
12. Create A Sexy Playlist
Music can make us feel good and power our sex drive, advises healthy lifestyle coach Liz Traines over email with Bustle. There are so many songs that can put us in the mood, so create a new playlist featuring all of these top hits and put it on whenever you feel like getting it on. This playlist can be used in the bedroom, in a bath, before a night out with friends, or even during meal prep as you wait for your partner to come home.
13. Get Enough Sleep
Inadequate sleep can cause our hormones to become out of whack, leading to chronic fatigue, mood swings and irritability, cravings (for food, not sex, unfortunately), and a general "blah" mood that can hinder libido. By aiming for seven or eight hours nightly, we can instantly gain more energy and boost our sex drive, advises Dr. Robin Berzin on Mindbodygreen. If time is an issue, and you're too tired after work, have sex in the morning.
No matter what factors might be hurting a libido, it's easy to increase your drive with these simple tips. Whether you use these with a partner or just for yourself, getting in touch with your body and feeling more relaxed and sexier can positively affect other areas in your life.
Images: Pexels (14); Bustle