Apple Builds New Store...On 15th Century Spanish Ruins

As it turns out, historic monuments are little more than slabs of concrete on which Apple intends to bolster its global domination. Four years ago, during construction for a brand-new flagship store in Madrid, the iBuilders stumbled across hospital ruins dating back to the early 1400s. A couple of years and some pesky "historic site" legislation later, Apple has merrily returned to construction... on top of the ruins.

This might sound familiar. Take a moment to think about New York City's Grand Central station: all smooth marble foyer, Tiffany clocks, and high ceilings painted like the night sky. It's been described as the "world's loveliest station."

Wait. What's that little neon thing peeking out of one end?

Oh, right. It's an Apple Store.

Don't fret. There's still the Louvre. Ah, the Louvre: home of Mona Lisa, heart of Paris, stuffed with old-fashioned beauty and culture. All you need to do is wander inside and soak up...

Oh, Christ.

In another soul-destroying combination of history and neon fruit, Madrid officials are now allowing Apple to cover over the hospital's foundations, and continue building atop them. The city has insisted that Apple point out, via maps on the store floor, exactly where the ruins are—but who's going to be looking when there's a new iPad and Fruit Ninja to play with?

Coming next, we're guessing they're planning something like this?

Here's what's no joke: the Fifth Avenue Apple Store is also now a more popular destination for New York City tourists than the Statue of Liberty.


(Images: MockCrunch, CNET)