Texting can be a difficult game — especially because there are so very many ways for what we say to be misinterpreted or misperceived. And the unfortunate reality is there are definitely texting mistakes we all make that make us significantly less attractive.
And when I say "attractive" I'm in no way referring to physical attributes — I'm talking about the ways in which me communicate that make us more versus less likeable in terms of our personality and personal energy. Texting is just like any other form of communication, whether it be phone, email, or face-to-face; there are certain things we can all do that will give off a positive impression and make others want to keep communicating. And on the flip side, there are things we do over text that can simply rub others the wrong way.
And while this might not seem like the biggest deal, the fact of the matter is that — whether we love it or not — texting has become one of the most dominant forms of communication in our time. And it doesn't look like it's going anywhere any time. So that being said, it's arguably worth knowing the most effective ways to communicate via this particular format so that we can always be putting our best foot forward.
If you on the lookout for ways to up your texting game, here are TK texting habits to watch out for that could be making you less likable.
1. You Say Things Over Text That You Should Call About
A piece for Reader's Digest about annoying texting habits stressed the fact that you should never text something that should be said in person or over the phone, like an apology. Texting last minute that you're going to have to miss your best friend's big art show, or that you don't want to keep seeing someone you've been dating isn't okay. Just because it's easier doesn't mean it's right!
2. Your Texts Are Way Too Long
In a piece for The Huffington Post, best selling author Adam Gilad recommended keeping texts brief. "The whole point of texting is that it’s short and to the point," he said. So instead of going on a three paragraph text rant when someone asks you how your day went, consider just saying something like, "Crazy! Can't wait to tell you about it."
3. You Text Way Too Often
A HuffPost compilation piece warned against sending too many texts to someone before you get one back. Now there are no hard and fast rules on this one (I've texted my best friend about a thousand times in the span of an hour while waiting for her to respond), but in general, it can potentially be overwhelming when you're texting with someone you're just getting to know.
4. You Overuse "LOL"
OK, this one is a personal pet peeve so can totally be taken with a grain of salt. But when people reply with, "LOL" to every random thing I say, I can't help but think, "Did you really laugh out loud?" It can be tempting to inserts lols or "haha" at the end of every sentence to keep the tone of the interaction light, but don't feel the need to use the tactic all the time.
5. You're Unaware Of Your Tone
This is another personal tip, and might even seem a little contradictory to the one I just mentioned. The thing that can make texting so easy to misinterpret is the fact that our desired tone can sometimes get lost. If someone texts that they'll be able to make your birthday party, and you respond with, "Great." it might seem as though you're not actually all that happy. Be conscious of varying your punctuation marks and using emojis and smiley faces to make your desired tone super clear. It can avoid a lot of misunderstandings.
6. You Group Text With Friends Who Don't Know Each Other
That same Reader's Digest compilation piece noted how totally annoying it can be when one friend group texts something like a photo, but most people on the thread don't know each other. This can lead to inundating your friends with texts from strangers, which — let's be real — no one enjoys!
7. You Text At The Movies
The relationship experts on the dating site Your Tango reminded us how off putting it is when someone texts at the movies. Not only is the light from the phone distracting, but it shows you're not really present in the moment. Don't be that person!
8. You Text While Someone Is Talking To You
The same YourTango piece reminded us that it's never very considerate to text while someone is talking to you in person. It makes it seem as though you only have half your attention on the person in front of you and like you'd rather be doing something else. You'll be amazed how much people appreciate your undivided attention.
9. You Over Use Emojis
There's a time and a place for emojis, and like I noted before, they can definitely be super helpful when it comes to ensuring that your tone is not misinterpreted. However, when the bulk of your texting consists of them, it could be time to consider if you really need to be texting at that moment in the first place. Remember, every time you text, you're commanding someone else's time, so make sure it's worth it!
10. You Take Too Long To Respond
This final tip from Gurl.com is a big one: try to be considerate with your response time. If someone asks you a direct question, don't wait 12 hours to respond if you are able. Just think of it this way: would you like it if someone waited forever to get back to you with helpful info? Treating others as you would like to be treated also applies in the world of cell phones!
Texting doesn't need to be a big stressful endeavor, and it's definitely not something you should feel the need to over analyze. However, just like with any form of communication, there are certain things we can do to communicate as effectively and pleasantly as possible, which ultimately makes life better for everyone!