Redditors Turn Their First Sexual Experiences Into Limericks, and It's Awesome
What was your first time like? Was it life-changing and beautiful and full of birds and bees and all that good stuff? Was it kind of a disaster? Was it maybe just “meh?” Well, regardless as to how it actually was, there’s one thing that will make it sound like an epic tale for the ages: Poetry.
The AskReddit thread du jour is titled simply this: “Reddit, Can You Write a Limerick Explaining Your First Sexual Experience?” Upon clicking it (because how could I not, with a title like that?), the first thing I learned is that rather a lot of the Reddit community doesn’t appear to know what a limerick is. The second thing I learned, however, is that the Redditors who do know possess quite a talent for writing them — with, of course, hilarious results. I’ve assembled the 10 best ones from the thread, taking the liberty of giving them titles while I was at it. Read at your own risk — there aren’t any men from Nantucket here!
1. Coitus Interruptus
This is but one of the many, many “and then his/her mom/dad/brother/dog/whatever walked in” experiences found in the thread. It’s also the best written.
2. Good Morning!
Alternative title: Whiskey Dick.
3. Hold Your Horses
The true meaning of the phrase, “it’s not a race.”
4. Paradise (Not) by the Dashboard Light
Sorry, Meatloaf. You lose.
5. Outside the Box
Hoorah for creative thinking.
Get it? Poetic humor at its finest!
7. Sloppy Seconds
Poor guy. I kind of just want to give him a hug.
Even if your first time was mostly uneventful doesn’t mean it’s not worth telling.
9. Happy Endings
Awww, a love a story!
10. The Winner
This one has garnered the most upvotes out of the entire thread due to its punchline.