Redditors Turn Their First Sexual Experiences Into Limericks, and It's Awesome

What was your first time like? Was it life-changing and beautiful and full of birds and bees and all that good stuff? Was it kind of a disaster? Was it maybe just “meh?” Well, regardless as to how it actually was, there’s one thing that will make it sound like an epic tale for the ages: Poetry.

The AskReddit thread du jour is titled simply this: “Reddit, Can You Write a Limerick Explaining Your First Sexual Experience?” Upon clicking it (because how could I not, with a title like that?), the first thing I learned is that rather a lot of the Reddit community doesn’t appear to know what a limerick is. The second thing I learned, however, is that the Redditors who do know possess quite a talent for writing them — with, of course, hilarious results. I’ve assembled the 10 best ones from the thread, taking the liberty of giving them titles while I was at it. Read at your own risk — there aren’t any men from Nantucket here!

1. Coitus Interruptus

This is but one of the many, many “and then his/her mom/dad/brother/dog/whatever walked in” experiences found in the thread. It’s also the best written.

2. Good Morning!

Alternative title: Whiskey Dick.

3. Hold Your Horses

The true meaning of the phrase, “it’s not a race.”

4. Paradise (Not) by the Dashboard Light

Sorry, Meatloaf. You lose.

5. Outside the Box

Hoorah for creative thinking.

6. (Un)finished

Get it? Poetic humor at its finest!

7. Sloppy Seconds

Poor guy. I kind of just want to give him a hug.

8. Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

Even if your first time was mostly uneventful doesn’t mean it’s not worth telling.

9. Happy Endings

Awww, a love a story!

10. The Winner

This one has garnered the most upvotes out of the entire thread due to its punchline.

Image: Pexels