Does anyone else avoid going to the mall these days? The crowds, the lines, those people who walk really slow — I can't deal. Mall trips as a kid were completely different, however, even though some of the things we did at the mall in the '90s were kind of creepy, in all honesty. It was all harmless enough: We were kids, we had active imaginations, and we were hyper. It should come as no surprise that when you let us loose in an enormous building full of stuff we definitely shouldn't have played with but totally did anyway, weird things were going to happen.
Sure enough, every now and then, I'll be out somewhere and I'll spot a youngster doing something wacky, and I think, "... What... What is he doing? Where is their parent?" Kids are just weird little people. We knew no boundaries.
The mall was the perfect setting to engage in giant games of hide and go seek and treasure hunts. Sometimes we'd bring our walkie talkies and see how far we could use them before it was nothing but static. (FYI, it was from Claire's to about KB Toys and no further.) But that's not all we did. I know we were just having a good time; but looking back, some of the things we did at the mall were just plain old weird. Things like...
1. Hiding In Those Giant Circular Clothing Racks
Can you imagine how much you freaked out that innocent shopper when she reached for a purple popcorn shirt and saw two little eyes staring out from the darkness? Creeper, party of one!
2. Looking Up Mannequins' Clothes
You were always curious if they were anatomically correct. Never mind the fact that you didn't even know what you were looking for.
3. Pretending To Be A Mannequin
To be clear, I'm not saying I used to do this...
4. Trying To Expose Santa And The Easter Bunny As Frauds
All you needed to do was keep your mouth shut, sit on their laps, and smile for the camera. Instead, you tried to rip off Santa's fake beard, effectively scarring the 20 children in line after you for life. Good job.
5. Trying To Squeeze Into The Mall Strollers When You Were, Like, 10 Years Old
That's just weird, dude.
6. Sticking Your Gum Under The Table At Sbarro
Do you even realize how many infectious diseases can be transmitted via saliva? Shame on you!
7. Playing With The Gum Stuck Under The Table At Sbarro
I'm at a loss for words.
8. Hiding In Tall Winter Coats Suspended From Hangers
Did anyone else do this?? I did it! You'd actually put your arms in the sleeves and zip the jacket up... while it was still on the hanger. Creepy? Yes. Fun? Yes. Would I still do it as an adult? Double yes.
9. Pretending To Talk To Someone On The Payphones When You Definitely Weren't
"Hello... No... Five million is not enough... TELL HIM I WANT 10."
10. Following Your Crush Around Spencer's Gifts
And then ducking out of sight whenever they turned around. These were the days when we still stalked people in person — not on Facebook.
Images: Paramount Pictures; Giphy (9)