'Suave Says' is VH1's Newest Reality Show And It Needs to Have These 5 Things

I’m not sure if this is good news or bad news for the 90s resurgence...but it’s certainly news. Gerardo Mejía aka Rico Suave will star on VH1's Suave Says. The Latino pop star who was a one-hit wonder back in 1991 is hoping to reclaim a little more than his 15 minutes of fame.

Suave Says will follow the domestic side of the former (and self-proclaimed) man candy, who, after his one smash hit, decided to become a music executive rather than a recording artist. Mejía and his wiife Kathy along with his son Jaden, daughters Bianca and Nadia, niece Lexi will be the stars of the show. And yep, you guessed it, the kids are trying to get into the music game.

By the sounds of it Suave Says is already on its way to join the rankings of fellow VH1 reality series that are just so bad, they’re good. Though I sincerely doubt ANYTHING could ever really live up to I Love New York or Flavor of Love in sheer insanity, but here’s hoping. After all Mejía himself said , “I can’t wait for VH1’s audience to meet my wild family...We’re like Ricky and Lucy but with a handful of crazy kids trying to run my casa.” What’s more, VH1’s exec of original programming Susan Levinson said, “We knew we had our next buzz-worthy series as soon as he walked through our door. Plus, he still has those abs.”

In order for Suave says to become our favorite guilty pleasure/show to hate-watch, it absolute needs to have these things:

Any time Gerardo and Kathy say something inappropriately sexual in front of their kids a gyrating version of Gerardo in 1991 slides across the screen.

And if we can't have him, we'll take Hiddelston.

A live “Ab Cam.”

Whenever somethine else is happening in another room of the house and Gerardo is elsewhere shirtless, we get a little pop-up window giving us the goods. Because, abs.

Rick Rolling!

Seriously, if the people editing this show don’t Rick Roll it at least once, I quit television.

Guest Stars!

I only want the early 90s finest. Downtown Julie Brown, Milli Vanilli, non-Downtown Julie Brown, and whoever else was at MTV Spring Break when it mattered.

A step-by-step instruction by the man himself on doing the Rico Suave Shuffle

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