Entertainment

The Jersey Shore Just Got Scarier

by Caitlyn Callegari

Just when we thought the Jersey Shore craze had been dead and buried, at least we hoped it had, it crawls out of the dark, cavernous depths of reality TV hell like Smeagol. It seems that Jenni 'JWoww' Farley is responsible for bring GTL back to life-- well, sort of. The engaged mom-to-be, JWoww has signed on to produce a Jersey Shore horror film, written and directed by Paul Tarnopol. The horror parody film is eerily reminiscent of JWoww's meandering days in Seaside, tanning and causing a general alcohol induced ruckus, except this time there's a whole lot more death.

Like any good (bad) horror film, this one centers around a few partying Jersey girls who find some delinquent Guido juice heads to bring back to their shore house. While the group thinks they're going to have a general rowdy good time gelling their hair, taking shots, and lifting weights, they realize that the Jersey Shore is more sinister than they had initially expected. In the natural sequence of events, a psycho killer comes and takes the group down, one orange drunkard at a time. Sigh, this sounds positively riveting.

The film is due in theaters this June, just in time for the guidos and guidettes of New Jersey and the tri state area to return to the shore for their usual summer debauchery.

Beware, gorilla juice heads.