How To Upgrade Your Relationship

by Erica Florentine

You and your significant other have been together for a while. In the beginning, it seemed like every day was more amazing than the one before. Somehow now, though, everything seems “blah.” Before you give up hope of revitalizing the partnership, realize there are ways to upgrade your relationship that can put you and your SO back on a good track. You and your partner can start practicing these tactics right now and might very well see some positive changes happening sooner than later.

Not every moment of a relationship is going to be flowers, cards, candy, and passion. However, perhaps you can’t help but think back to a point in your relationship when those things were ever-present. Fast forward to the current day and you and your partner have what you feel to be the opposite of passion happening in your relationship. You can’t decide what to do about it, and are always on the hunt for ways to bring the life back into the partnership. Well, look no further. I have done some digging into the topic and have rounded up some tricks you and your significant other can use to bring your relationship to a great place. The best part about these tactics is that they do not require having to make huge changes. A tweak here and a tweak there to how you and your partner act in your relationship can ultimately make a really big difference in how happy and long lasting the relationship can be. Here are 11 ways to upgrade your relationship.

1. Set Up A Double Date

How you ever considered that a way to liven things up in your relationship might be by amping up your social interaction? According to Stylist, you and your SO might consider a double date next time you’re planning a night out, as it can be effective in improving your own relationship. The outlet cited a study out of Wayne State University that found a double date can give couples a new perspective on their partner, as they’ll hear their SO revealing information to others and see how the others respond to that information in validating ways. The study found not only will it give a new perspective, it can also make people feel good about their partner.

2. Reignite The Romance

A lot of times you’ll hear couples that are going through a lull complain that their relationship now lacks the romance it once had. An easy way to upgrade from that stagnant state — reignite that romance! Health recommended being mindful to incorporate romance here and there into your regular routine. The outlet noted it can make your partner feel valued, and therefore good about themselves and about the relationship as a whole. This doesn’t have to mean candlelight dinners every day, but how about scheduling a romantic dinner with each other for once a week? It’s not a huge commitment, but can make a huge difference.

3. Stare At Each Other

This might sound odd, but stay with me. Looking into each other’s eyes can actually prove successful in bringing you both closer together, according to The outlet recommended spending two minutes looking into each other’s eyes without speaking. It’ll help create phenomenal intimacy.

4. Spend Some QT Sans The Cell Phones

To get some thoughts on ways to upgrade a relationship, I spoke via email to Rosalind Sedacca, CLC, a dating & relationship coach, co-author of 99 Things Women Wish They Knew Before Dating After 40, 50 & Yes, 60!, and co-creator of the DatingRescue eCourse for women found at Sedacca says a great way to get the most out of that vitally important alone time in a relationship is by putting those cell phones away. “Cell phones are not only a distraction — they indicate that other people or issues are more important to you than your partner,” Sedacca says. “Cell phones get priority most times of the day. So, set aside special time to catch up with your partner, watch a movie together or stroll in the park without cell phones on board.”

Sedacca adds that doing so will boost levels of intimacy and respect in your relationship — both of which are essential in maintaining a lasting love bond.

5. Use The Right Tone Of Voice

Stop for a moment and consider the tone you and your partner take with each other. According to Prevention, the best tone of speaking in a relationship is one where the pitch of the voice is dropped and the speaker is talking more slowly. Why? According to the outlet, this allows for the listener to respond with more trust, and to perceive the speaker as more caring and sympathetic.

6. Don’t Shy Away From Affection

Similarly to how the romance in a relationship can begin to fizzle over time, many couples also find there is less affection in their relationship as time progresses, too. Affection can, however, be a great tool for bringing some life back into the partnership. “Regardless how you display affection, it is an important component of a healthy relationship,” Sedacca says. “Affection separates intimate relationships from other close relationships with family and friends. Without affection it's hard to feel like a ‘couple’ on the deepest level.”

Plus, get this — according to Sedacca, affectionate partners are happier, more trusting partners. Sounds like it’s something definitely worth taking the initiative for.

7. Show Interest In What Your SO Has To Say

To me, there’s nothing worse than speaking to someone who doesn’t care whatsoever what it is you have to say. This is especially true when that person is a significant other. According to Psych Central, an excellent way to improve a relationship is by being certain to care and be curious about the things your SO has to say and their perspective on things. This is true, too, when you’re having a disagreement. The outlet suggested being certain to keep your mind open to the other side of the argument by listening and taking their differing view into consideration.

8. Try A Small Little Gesture

A grand gesture might be great — but sometimes all you need to boost your relationship is a small one, as even the littlest gestures can show a partner that they’re acknowledged in the relationship. According to Sedacca, small gestures are essential to keeping a relationship healthy and alive. “Too often we take our partners for granted in a relationship,” Sedecca says. “By stopping to acknowledge your partner with favors, small flirtations, thoughtful notes, little gifts, winks, hugs, etc. you are saying, ‘You matter to me. I'm happy to have you in my life. I'm here for you.’”

9. Sleep Naked

Increasing the happiness in your relationship might be as simple as sleeping in the buff. According to a British study, couples that sleep together naked are happier than those that sleep in pajamas or nighties. Next time you’re climbing into bed, consider leaving the clothes on the floor.

10. Reflect On Good Times

The relationship experts at suggested improving your relationship by talking about the good times you’ve had. Specifically, the outlet recommended picking a memory from the honeymoon phase of your relationship and talking about it in detail — what things each of you liked about it, how the experience made you feel, what you were thinking at the time, etc. It could bring about positive feelings for the both of you in the present time.

11. Be Nice

Alas… you should be nice to one another if you want your relationship to be the best it can be. According to Huffington Post, being kinder to one another can both improve your relationship as well as your health — so it’s really a win-win situation. Next time you feel a snarky comment is about to come out, hold it back and try to say something nice and positive instead, and try to let go of any anger and hostility.

If you feel your relationship has reached a stationary point — fear not, as there are ways to upgrade it right now. Try some of the tips suggested above, and you might just notice some very positive changes begin to take place.

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