In what might be the strangest and most uplifting news story of the week an old woman beat off a robber with bacon. It seems the salty breakfast treat in the right hands can also be a weapon. The 86-year-old Manchester, England resident wielded a packet of bacon as uncooked as the attempted mugging it foiled. The odd events that unfolded Monday afternoon inside a supermarket in Altricham, UK were reported on the Facebook page of the Greater Manchester Police, and have since gained global notoriety.
According to the popular post, the elderly woman withdrew a significant amount of cash (believed to be about £250) from a bank ATM around the corner from the local Iceland supermarket. The victim then went about her shopping until she was approached by a middle-aged woman wearing all white and sunglasses. The robber grabbed the victim's shopping cart, and demanded that she fork over the money that she had withdrawn.
The police report that the pensioner "defended herself by repeatedly hitting the female offender over the head with a packet of bacon." The would-be mugger retreated hurriedly from the store — and in her defense, reports indicate that the packet of bacon may have been frozen. The GMP Trafford South police end their Facebook post with an amazing hashtag that I really hope starts trending soon (though in America it may have other connotations): #BeatOffWithBacon.
The Facebook post has since inspired a slew of delicious puns regarding breakfast foods. One commenter wrote, "Sounds like a Hambush to me," while another mentioned, "Good on her... bet the offender made off with egg on her face."
Recently released CCTV footage suggests that the mugging may not have been as dramatic as the police post described. Altrincham Today notes that according to the video, the elderly woman was only able to "land a parting shot at the woman" with the cured meat. In the footage, the mugger is seen scuttling off, defeated, and the older woman seems to resume her shopping. Whether the elderly woman hit her assailant once or "repeatedly" with bacon doesn't matter — it's still pretty bad*ss.
Despite her calm appearance in the footage, the police confirmed to the BBC that the octogenarian was "very shook up" by the attack, and is now thankfully "safe and well." The mugger is still at large, though one can only hope that she has been "cured" of her criminal ways.
We have one hero to thank here. Not only is it the savior of every bland sandwich but now somebody's pocketbook as well:
Let's hope we are all so lucky in a fight or flight scenario to have a tasty pork product on hand.