Hilariously Weird Things Parents Say to Their Kids: An Illustrated Guide

I don’t have kids, but if I did, I would imagine that interacting with them on a daily basis would result in me saying some pretty bizarre things. I mean, I say weird enough things to my cats, and they can’t even talk back (or at least, as far as I know, they can’t). But even though I’m not having on planning kids anytime soon, I would be curious to know how the odd statements that come out of my mouth might measure up against the ones that come out of Nathan Ripperger's.

Ripperger is an Iowa-based artist. He’s also a father of four. When you combine the two things together, you get something wonderful: His Things I’ve Said to My Children series. The collection of colorfully illustrated prints features bold shapes, fun textures, playful typography, and the absolutely absurd sentences he has uttered while parenting his unruly brood. Ripperger appears to have the patience of a saint and the sense of humor of Jon Stewart. Where else can you find beautiful pieces of art paired with the words, “Stop riding that penguin, we’re leaving,” “I am not talking to you until you are wearing underwear,” and “Did you put honey on your brother’s head?”

You can even hang any of these pieces on your very own walls, too, thanks to Ripperger’s Etsy shop. Best new parent gift ever? I’m going to go with a “yes” on that one.

Images: Nathan Ripperger/Etsy