6 Things I’d Buy With My #GenderCard

In an interview today with Texas gubernatorial candidate Wendy Davis, Texas Tribune editor Evan Smith asked Davis if she intended to “play the gender card” in her campaign against Republican challenger Greg Abbott.

In response, writer and reproductive justice activist Andrea Grimes started the hashtag #Gendercard to respond to Smith’s remarks. Predictably, women on Twitter weren’t too pleased with the insinuation that female candidates use their gender to get ahead, and they responded in hilarious ways.

My #gendercard is safely protected in my fancy lady wallet, but I would occasionally like to whip it out and make a few purchases. Check out what I would buy if women in fact did possess some kind of magical card that gives them elevated status over men.

1. Equal pay

As it stands, women are making about 77 cents on the dollar compared to men. The gap is much larger within black and Latino communities and that’s just pitiful. If Congress accepted #Gendercard, I would totally march my ass to Washington and give them all the stocked up “female privilege” I’ve earned in my 26 years. It’s a fair trade, I think.


Obama’s kind of already got me covered on the free birth control front, but I’m talking like a massive military-style humanitarian dump of condoms and Plan B over every neighborhood in the world. If the schools won’t hand ‘em out and people are still too embarrassed to go buy condoms, what better way to use up my #Gendercard than by delivering condoms directly to someone’s front door?

3. Some common-sense pro-woman legislators

I know that “common sense” and “legislators” don’t exactly go together, but maybe we can find some! If corporations can buy big fancy candidates to push their agendas, maybe we should all combine our #Gendercards to elect Wendy Davis and Elizabeth Warren. And Leslie Knope. This is a future we can believe in.

4. Decent freakin’ childcare

Childcare is really expensive. Like, prohibitively expensive for a lot of parents. One swipe of my super-rich #Gendercard, though, and universal preschool for everyone! Universal day care! Paid maternity leave! Ladies, we are so powerful and we didn’t even know it. Now, maybe people won’t have to spend money that they need for food and stuff on finding a daycare that will take good care of their kids. Thanks, Evan Smith, for reminding us. Our (theoretical) kids thank you.


Of course I would buy kittens. Everyone needs a kitten, and cats are obviously like women’s #1 favorite thing in the world after complaining and shopping (kidding!). In fact, feminism is all about kittens, so it’s a perfectly legitimate use of my #Gendercard. Deal with it, dudes.

6. A time machine

If my #Gendercard was unlimited in the way that male privilege is, I’d cash out and buy a super-cool time machine that could transport all us ladies to a future where we don’t have to deal with garbage like street harassment, sexual assault, and misogyny. Even if this place isn’t real, maybe they have cool hoverboards we can play with.