Hillary Clinton And Michelle Obama Porn Searches Spiked Last Week

Last week was DNC Week, and while having your preferred cable news network on in the background at the office or while you're making dinner was all the coverage you need, some people wanted more. Hillary Clinton and Michelle Obama porn searches spiked after the First Lady's breathtaking speech Monday night, and, well, considering the whole shebang is pretty much a big party honoring Hillary Clinton as the democratic nominee.

The stats come from xHamster, which is your standard "tube site" featuring a huge collection of amateur porn, who last week also enjoyed a record traffic high in Cleveland area during the Republican National Convention. (It even surpassed its viewership in Cleveland during the 2016 NBA Finals.) Last week, nationwide xHamster searches for "Michelle Obama" spiked by 1428 percent, and "ebony" was the most-searched porn type in Philadelphia, where the DNC is currently underway. Searches for "Hillary Clinton" spiked 437 percent, before the former Secretary of State made her big speech accepting the nomination of the Democratic Party, so that search term, too, probably surged.

And if you're wondering what sorts of results xHamster could possibly turn up searching for FLOTUSes, don't worry: I looked so you don't have to. The Michelle Obama-related porn mostly features dudes masturbating over a very pretty photo of the First Lady. There are also some naughty nurse-themed hits with plays on "Obamacare" in the title, and one fairly convincing President Obama lookalike if you're really going to miss him when he leaves office.

Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Hillary Clinton's searches turn up the same photo masturbation "tributes" (it's like the celebrity porn search version of a listicle: ubiquitous, lazy, good in a pinch, but ultimately unsatisfying), as well as some hits with her face photoshopped over another performer's body, for a slightly more realistic feel.

And before you even bother, "Bernie Sanders" and "Tim Kaine" searches turn up nothing candidate- or VP-related just yet, which part of me feels relieved by, but also, I'm not trying to yuck anyone's yum. For those of you who feel about Tim Kaine the way Leslie Knope feels about Joe Biden, I hope you get your Vice Presidential porn soon. It seems like having your presidential likeness molded into a dildo is something only President Obama could have pulled off, though.