Life

Which Is The Best Lucky Charm Marshmallow?

by Mallory Schlossberg

Do you remember Lucky Charms, the magically delicious cereal of your childhood? Do you remember how you used to dodge the frosted oats with your spoon, only scooping up the colorful marshmallows until all that was left in your bowl was sad bits of beige floating in pink milk? Sure, you can buy just the marshmallows, but scavengering for the perfect spoonful of horseshoes and hearts was just more fun.

But which marshmallow reigns supreme? Which was the prized treat in your bowl of sugary goodness? In the spirit o' the Irish, it's about time that we did a VERY CRUCIAL breakdown of perhaps the sweetest and tastiest part of your childhood (and maybe adult!) breakfast. You may not know this, but as with all things in life, there is a hierarchy. They may all be magically delicious, but some, in fact, do rank higher than the others. Here is a countdown of the Lucky Charms marshmallows, from least to most awesome.

8. The Blue Moon

Yes, a blue moon is lucky, but as a kid, there’s nothing sadder than hearing that something only happens “once in a blue moon” — as in, like, never. The only thing that MIGHT be sadder is getting the tiniest, skinniest of the marshmallows (the thicker the marshmallow = the better), which means eating a spoonful that is way less sweet than it could have been with a bigger marshmallow. Still, a marshmallow is better than no marshmallow…

7. The Hourglass

Another small marshmallow, though it’s not as narrow as the blue moon, so that gives it some cereal box cred. This one confused many children, I’m sure, since it’s not obvious that it’s an hourglass. Once a kid figures out it’s an hourglass, though, there’s a whole spiral of is my time running out?!!? And will my marshmallows be gone?

6. The Horseshoe

This one scores high on the “marshmallow thickness” chart, but when you’re a kid, you don’t immediately see a horseshoe and think YES! I WON A HORSESHOE! (Unless you were a kid who was into horseshoes…then, by all means.) You might also have wondered, “is this just a giant U?” Still, it’s a solid marshmallow. Also, it’s pretty and purple.

5. The Red Balloon

Over here we’ve got a great, full shape, and the youthful promise of getting carried away, or that childhood memory of winning a balloon. Or birthday parties! Eat some Lucky Charms as an adult, and the red balloon will TAKE YOU BACK TO YOUR YOUTH.

4. The Shooting Star

ALL YOUR WISHES AND HOPES AND DREAMS CAN COME TRUE! Isn’t that spirit of wishing on a shooting star? But sadly, it’s not like anyone wished upon a piece of cereal and watched her dreams come to life. Still, you can FEEL that way, right? This one doesn’t score as high as the other marshmallows that promise dreams and joy because it’s not as thick and therefore not filled with as much sugar, which is nearly the whole point of Lucky Charms, right?

3. The Clover

Find this one, and you’re lucky! The leprechaun’s hat paired with the four-leaf clover alludes to lots of good fortune. So enjoy all of the luck that is about to rain on you, and savor its abundance of chewy sweetness.

2. The Heart

What’s better than the heart? This marshmallow signifies all things LOVE, which, even as kids, we know is crucial. This heart will warm yours, but it yields supremacy to one other marshmallow…

1. The Rainbow

Because the goal is to find the rainbow, right? Now you’ve found it! The best Lucky Charm of all! The rainbow is the be all and end all of all things colorful and filled with joy, and finding one definitely increases your chances of uncovering a pot of gold

Images: Facebook