The "Transparen-She" Will Solve All The Sexism

Women are constantly objectified in workplaces, in schools, and on the streets. We're criticized if we're wearing too much or too little clothing, and too much or too little makeup. Women are also constantly blamed for everything from catcalling to sexual assault — instead of criticizing structures that privilege men and masculinity, society places the burden of responsibility on women for not always obliging the whims of patriarchy. If you're tired of your body being a constant subject of conversation, the "Transparen-She" by Vox advertises a hilarious way to shut down sexism: a completely made-up product that can make your body disappear entirely.

In a hilarious but fake advertisement, Vox's Liz Plank explained how the Transparen-She can help women conform to social expectations by completely eliminating any need to decide what to wear. "Can't determine if society wants you to be a virgin or a whore?" Plank asked. "Now you don't have to choose. You can be neither, because your personhood will literally disappear." Well, if you've ever wanted an invisibility cloak to evade the prying gaze of the patriarchy, this might be the right nonexistent product for you. No one can offer unsolicited opinions about your body if they can't see it! As Plank said: "It's like having male privilege right inside my pocket."

In the video, Plank cited a few different examples of women being blamed by journalists, police officers, and employers for objectification and rape because of what they had been wearing. She then presented the Transparen-She as the solution. "Common solutions like people minding their goddamn business or letting women live can take years of training," Plank said. "But with the Transparen-She, the results are instantaneous."

But what if a woman wants to decide what she's going to wear on her own? Don't be silly, Plank argues; women shouldn't get to decide what they wear! That's for men to decide, just like they decide they're qualified to make broad statements about things like abortion. Women should simply don the Transparen-She — its effectiveness has been guaranteed by "scientists."

Plank also helpfully pointed out that the Transparen-She is portable, and can therefore be worn in airplanes, too. Plus, there's also a Transparen-She Mini that covers one's face so that make-up is no longer an issue, either. From succumbing to ridiculous dress codes to preventing co-workers from making inappropriate comments about your outfit, the Transparen-She has a variety of uses, and is a great way to shut down body-shaming before it ever even happens.

Image: Liz Plank/Vox (1)