Watching John Oliver Rant About Birds Is The Best Way To Avoid Hillary Clinton Conspiracy Theories
Birds, as we all know, are pretty divisive creatures. Some people love them, even keeping them as pets; others have a deep and pervasive fear of them. They are so feared by some that there is an entire horror movie dedicated to them (Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds, obviously). On Sunday night, we discovered another member of the bird-hater population: Even though he's on hiatus until Sept. 25, on Sunday, Last Week Tonight host John Oliver posted a video ranting about birds, or as he calls them, "cat-feeders."
While Oliver usually reserves his takedowns for more institutional subjects, such as corruption in FIFA, the failure of charter schools, the shady practices of the auto lending industry, and the problem of Donald Drumpf, this time he decided to go after something very personal to him. Birds, to Oliver, are a menace.
As fall approaches, Northeastern birds will begin to migrate South for the winter, where, as Oliver explains, they'll "feed, grow, and attract a mate. It's their version of Eat, Pray, Love, except birds are too dumb to realize everything they needed was inside them the whole time."
From there, the insults just keep rolling. He announces he has a message to all of the birds making their way south: "I hope you never come back!" he shouts at the camera, "To me, every single bird is just a shitty sequel to the dinosaurs."
Oliver goes on to discuss various types of birds and insult them specifically, including geese, parrots, and ostriches. Although parrots are popular pets, and can be really funny when owners teach them to talk, Oliver doesn't spare them from his harshest insults: "What? I'm supposed to like parrots because they can talk? Basically every human being talks, and I hate most of them!" The grouchy "get off my porch" tone of the clip makes the whole thing even better. Given his anger, maybe Oliver is just a little jealous that birds get to fly to warmer climates each year while the rest of us are stuck freezing in the North?
It's a silly video, sure, but with the amount of serious corruption and depressing exploitation that Oliver covers each week on the show, it's good to get a little lighthearted ranting out of the way every once and a while. With only two months left until the general election, Oliver will hopefully return at the end of the month to help us through the rest of this tiring election cycle with his charming takedowns.