Life

You Know You're From Westchester When...

by Mallory Schlossberg

Westchester County just may be the ultimate suburb. Westchester is where dreams are born and made ... and then, often, retired. Beginning where the Bronx ends, Westchester is a commuter city where Upper West Side moms flock in mass exodus to raise their (often privileged) kids. Yes, a uniquely New York brand of suburbia thrives in this county, and if you grew up here, you know what I'm talking about. Here are 13 ways you know you grew up in Westchester.

1. You grew up saying you live "right outside the city"

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Technically, yes, you did, but you are not a Manhattanite, and you wear that badge of shame quite well.

2. Metro North was your key to opportunity

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In 45 minutes, it would chug you away to the mostly-too-cool-for you city. If only the winter didn't infringe upon your method of escape...

3. Starbucks was the place to hang out

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4. You get angry when people think Westchester and Long Island are the same thing

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For starters, The Metro North goes into Grand Central, and the LIRR goes into Penn Station. The two could not be more different. Hello.

5. Moving to New York City was not that big of a deal

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In fact, it was kind of a breeze...

6. You cringe when people say you're from "upstate"

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It's even worse when they assume that you have a farm. YOU'VE NEVER EVEN BEEN TO A FARM. (But you have been to Stew Leonard's.)

7. You grew up thinking Malls were the best

Robin Sparkles agrees.

8.. ...The Westchester Mall, more specifically.

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The Palisades Center, one of the biggest malls there is, was "just a drive over the Tappan Zee Bridge," so it was easily accessible — but that behemoth belonged to Rockland County. You had a classy amalgam of Neiman's, Nordstom, and Tiffany & Co right at home.

9. You know the SUNY public school system in and out

You also know which one is "the Ivy of the SUNYs."

10. Bat mitzvahs were a competitive sport

You were the queen. You still are the queen. Glen Island Harbour Club, anybody?

11. You rode the roller coaster that appears in this music video

In fact, you awaited that fateful day that you were tall enough to ride the Dragon Coaster at Rye Playland Park. Rye Playland was where summers were made ... until you realized Six Flags existed.

12. Once again, not Long Island

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Please stop.

13. You have a lingering suspicion that you just might end up back there

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Hey, there are definitely worse fates.