This "Walk of Shame Kit" Will Make Sure No One Knows You Got Laid Last Night — But Who Needs That?

We’ve all been there: After a wild night out and a (hopefully fun) bit of after-hours action at some lucky lad or lady’s apartment, it’s time to head home. If you don’t feel like making the trek in last night’s clothes, though, there's a product that can (maybe) help you out: The “Walk of Shame kit.”

The kit, which retails for $34.99, includes a T-shirt dress, a pair of flip-flops, some “pre-pasted toothbrush wipes” (I assume those are kind of like those Wisp things?), wet wipes, a note card allowing you to instruct your one night stand about whether he or she should call you tomorrow or never speak to you again, a pair of sunglasses to hide your identity, a backpack into which you can shove all your stuff from the night before…and a breast cancer awareness bracelet. Because apparently this somewhat bizarre invention is also intended to raise breast cancer awareness. A note on the Walk of Shame kit’s website notes that “a portion of the proceeds have been donated on your behalf to a breast cancer foundation”; since, however, it neglects to tell us exactly which breast cancer foundation the money allegedly goes towards, I’m not hopeful it’s a good one ( Pink Ribbons, Inc. anyone?).

I’m not totally sure I can get behind this one, mostly because I don’t believe in the Walk of Shame. I prefer to think of it as a Walk of Awesome, because why the hell should we be ashamed of exercising our right to have sex? Yeah, maybe our hair doesn’t look as amazing as it did when we left home to go out the night before; and yeah, maybe our smokey eye and bold lip isn’t quite as well-suited to the daytime as it is to night. But who the hell cares? “Walk of Shame” says “slut shaming” to me. “Walk of Awesome,” on the other hand, is… well, awesome. I don’t need a kit that assures me it will “never tell” anyone about the fact that I — gasp! — had sex last night. This isn’t the ‘50s, after all.

Maybe that’s just me though. Am I overreacting? I don’t know. Even if the contents of the Walk of Shame kit could be kind of useful — and even though I'm all for breast cancer research — I think calling it a Walk of Shame kit sends the wrong message. I'd also like to know which breast cancer foundation the portion of proceeds is going to.

I think I'll just pack my own flip-flops, thank you very much.

Image: Walk of Shame Kit