Adele Isn't Actually That Sad About Brangelina

Lest anyone think Adele’s next album will be inspired by Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s divorce, the powerhouse vocalist has already set that record straight (pun not intended, but I am not mad at it). In the middle of Thursday night's Madison Square Garden show, the Grammy-winning singer let everyone know — despite what she said at a concert a few nights before — she isn’t actually that torn up about the Jolie-Pitt split. The goddess among mortals was disappointed that her tongue-in-cheek onstage banter was taken out of context and twisted into something else. Adele's Brangelina dedication was a joke, OK? I mean, she wishes both of them the best (she's not a monster), but she isn't legitimately devastated.

Here's how we got here: Some hours after The Big Divorce News broke on Tuesday, the “Send My Love (To Your New Lover)” songstress played a show at MSG. During said show, she took a moment to pay tribute to Jolie and Pitt. “Let’s not ignore the elephant in the room: Brangelina are broken up!” Adele said in between songs. “I don’t like gossiping, and private lives should be private, but I feel like it’s the end of an era. So, I’m dedicating this show tonight to them. It’s really, really sad. I was shocked when I woke up this morning!”

Her Brangelina speech wasted no time in making the internet rounds. And on Thursday evening, Adele let her audience know that she is most certainly not in mourning:

I would like to say I think it’s a bit sick you’re reporting on an absolute joke. I don’t care if they’ve broken up. I couldn’t give a f*king sh*t. They’re making out like I was heartbroken and being like, ‘Oh my god. I gotta dedicate…’ I don’t care! I don’t know them! Break up if it doesn’t work out, that’s what I always do. Don’t work out? You leave him. I wish them both the best, but I don’t care. And to be honest, I don’t think they really care about all we have to say. It’s ridiculous what’s going on in the world and that’s front-page news.

She continued:

I know I try and tell a lot of jokes and maybe my delivery's not always spot on. I'm not an actual comedienne so my timing isn't always great. I didn't mean it. As if I went home crying that night about it, it's ridiculous.

Please. Like Adele's timing is ever anything other than perfect.

I wonder how she feels about the media commenting on her comments about the media commenting on her comments.