The one night stand is a funny thing. On the whole, its negative connotations have slowly disappeared, because it is, after all, 2016. That said, ideas of positive, long-lasting relationships birthed from one night stands haven't quite been accepted by mainstream entertainment. It seems that for the most part the general population doesn’t correlate one night stands with an end game like marriage, or even a relationship lasting beyond the awkward morning-after talk. With films like My Blind Brother, though, that mindset could change. Just before the film’s premiere, its stars Jenny Slate and Nick Kroll — whose characters initially connect through a one night stand — opened up to me about their experience with (and stance on) the matter.
I admit, I’ve never had a one night stand. No judgement to those who enjoy them, but I just couldn’t see how it would evolve into something substantial or the relationship I’d eventually want. Slate (34) agrees in that one night stands aren’t “really [her] style.” Kroll (38), on the other hand, is pretty open about discussing his experience with them. And together, they were able to make me view one night stands in a totally different light.
Kroll explains that he’s had various kinds of relationships blossom from one night stands, even if some only lasted one night. “I think there’s a version of all types of ways that people can connect and sometimes it’s femoral and sometimes it’s this long, beautiful thing. Sometimes it’s an ongoing nightmare,” Kroll explains. But in the actor’s opinion, timing is everything. “It all kind of depends on the timing of things,” he explains.
Whether someone is seeking a serious relationship or just some fun, a one night stand wouldn’t necessarily change that. “I don’t have a problem with one night stands, I also don’t necessarily think long-term, great relationships come out of them,” the actor says. ”But, depends on where people are in their lives, what they need and want.”
Although she isn’t the biggest fan of the one night stand in her real life, his co-star explains how they’re only as uncomfortable (or as wonderful) as the people involved make the experience out to be. “There’s a weird sort of sex-negative thing that people have with one night stands… I think that anything can happen between any two people,” says Slate. Essentially, how two people meet shouldn’t matter if they enjoy each other enough to continue a relationship — be it just sex or something more. “You’re certainly stopping yourself from having a good thing if you label it as a one night stand and put shame on it,” she explains.
And if someone partakes in a totally awful one night stand experience, the answer, according to Slate, is simple: It's not the end of the world, so move the hell on. “If you have a one night stand with someone you don’t like, or they're a stranger, and you wish they were never there, then you just put that experience in the dumper and move on.”
But they’re right. Who’s to say what the right or wrong way to connect with someone is? Be it one night stands or pity f*cks. Yep, I just said pity f*ck, another one of the movie’s topics.
Although Slate’s character Rose and Kroll’s character Bill initially meet by hooking up, Rose ends up dating Bill’s visually-impaired brother, Robbie (Adam Scott). Hence: My Blind Brother. For obvious reasons, discussion of the pity f*ck surfaces in the film. According to Kroll, this is another act everyone should avoid shaming, because people have most likely been on either side of it at one point or another.
“Sex and sexual attraction is a constant shifting of power dynamics,” Kroll says. “There are moments in various versions of relationships, beginning or ending, where you’re like, ‘I guess we’re gonna have sex now?’ It’s not pity,” he says. And there are also those times of desperation, which again, no one should feel that bad about. “Then other times you’re like, ‘Please, show me pity and have sex with me.’ There’s any number of versions of it,” he says.
Maybe everyone, myself included, should carry on without being so quick to label relationships, or sexual encounters, before they even have the chance to develop into something more — even the ones that may just last a few hours after a lot of tequila shots.
My Blind Brother is in theaters now.
Images: Orion Pictures (4)