How To Watch The Donald Trump Porno

Oh, dear God. On Friday afternoon, BuzzFeed broke the news that Donald Trump was featured in a softcore pornography video. I quote, "BuzzFeed News obtained the footage from the online-only Buffalo, New York–based adult video store Cinema Cornucopia." According to BuzzFeed, the cover of the Playboy VHS reads: "From luxuriating in a warm, soapy tub, to reveling at an exclusive night club, Carol and Darlene bare their sex appeal and lead you on a sensual journey of discovery."

To be clear, Trump has not starred in porn. As in, Trump is not nude. (I know; you can exhale now.) Trump merely appears in the 2000 Playboy video breaking open a bottle of champagne alongside some Playmates, and the video, at its most explicit, is softcore porn. I mean, in all senses, this is all fine and great and typical of a celebrity. It's probably the most ordinary and non-offensive thing he's done to date. And there's nothing wrong with pornography — watching it, starring in it, appreciating it, you name it.

But. But. On Friday morning — at 3 a.m., to be precise — Trump had ordered his followers to look up the alleged sex tape of former Miss Universe contestant Alicia Machado, whom he branded "disgusting." "Did Crooked Hillary help disgusting (check out sex tape and past) Alicia M become a U.S. citizen so she could use her in the debate?" he wrote. On Friday evening, in a perfectly-timed moment of serendipity, BuzzFeed published the video.

Let's reiterate: On Friday morning, in the middle of the night, Trump describes Alicia as "disgusting," using her alleged "sex tape" as proof. On Friday evening, it emerges that Trump himself appeared in a pornographic video. You really cannot make this up.

You can watch the video on BuzzFeed here. At your own risk, mind you.

Side note: You're probably seeing this Tweet in a whole different light now.

Shudder.

"Beauty is beauty," says Trump in the video, because of course he does.

Meanwhile, the campaign unveiled a new ad starring Ivanka Trump on Friday.

In the video, Ivanka says, "My father will change outdated labor laws so that they support women and American families. He will provide tax credits for child care, paid maternity leave and dependent-care savings accounts," according to the Washington Post.

Images: BuzzFeed (3)