Life

Never Do These 12 Things While Flying

For anyone who has ever wondered what it’s like to be a flight attendant, Reddit has the answer — along with a whole list of dos and don’ts for making sure you don’t get on the wrong side of these magical people. Today’s helpful and informative AskReddit thread du jour asks, “Flight attendants of Reddit, what are some things that make you immediately hate a passenger?” As is the case with many AskReddit threads, there are more people who aren’t flight attendants responding to the question than those who are; but the FAs who have put in their two cents definitely have some words of advice for us. Do your flight attendant — and all of the other passengers on your plane — a favor and follow these 12 rules the next time you fly, okay?

1. Don't Get Drunk

Drunk people are hard enough to deal with on flat ground, so it stands to reason that they’d be even worse when you’re trapped with them in a tiny metal box thousands of feet up in the air. By all means, get a little buzz on if that’s your thing — but don’t get so wasted you can’t remember your flight at all. Also, you’ll feel better in the long run — planes dehydrate you, so plane + booze = one helluva hangover.

2. Don't Expect the Flight Attendant to Stow Your Carry-On For You (Or Poke Them in the Bum With a Fork)

Who does that?!

3. Don't Tug on Your Flight Attendant’s Uniform to Get Their Attention

This is not an acceptable alternative to poking them in the bum with a fork.

4. Don't Press the Call Button at Inopportune Times

WODDA must be the best flight attendant in the world, because he/she (it’s Reddit — gender is indeterminate until proven otherwise) framed all of his/her advice as positives. Following all of these tips is probably a good way to ensure a happy flight attendant — and a happy flight in general.

5. Don't Press the Call Button More Than Once

Unless it’s absolutely an emergency. And no, “I ran out of peanuts” is not an emergency.

6. Don't Treat Your Flight Attendant Like a Bar Wench

I am a firm believer that the way someone treats people who work in the service industry is a pretty good indicator of whether or not they’re a jerk. Don’t be a jerk.

7. Don't Forget Why Flight Attendants Are There in the First Place

Service industry elements aside, remember that flight attendants aren’t actually there to be “air waitresses.” They’re there for safety. Your life may depend on them, so for the love of all that is holy, let them do their jobs.

8. Don't Blame the Flight Crew for Weather-Based Delays

Another one with lots of good advice, but for reals: Yelling at your flight attendant isn’t going to make your plane get un-delayed. Only Thor can do that, and he’s probably not going to like the fact that you just spent 15 minutes needlessly yelling at someone.

9. Don't Cut Your Nails

Ew. Gross.

10. Don't Be Tonya Harding

Sorry, Tonya. Apparently you're a terribly passenger.

11. Don't Stick Your Feet Out in the Aisle

We’re revisiting our buddy WODDA for this one: I’m under 5’1”, so if leg room is a problem for me — as it is on most planes — it’s definitely a problem for the 6’3” sitting next to me. I feel for you, 6’3” guy; your knees must ache something awful, and that sucks. But if you see a flight attendant coming your way, please pull your legs back into your seat. You don’t really want a food trolley running over all of your toes.

12. Don't Bring Snakes On the Plane

You don’t want them to have to call Samuel L. Jackson to teach you a lesson, do you?