What Matters More Than Communicating With Your SO

When starting a relationship, it's important to have great communication skills, as it may help you work together in sustaining a long-term relationship. However, communication isn't everything, and there are factors that go into relationships that can determine whether it will be successful or not, as explained by Lalita Raman, a leadership and career coach, on her website.

As a certified health coach, I work with clients on helping them find meaningful relationships that are sustainable and provide happiness. When we have a close network of people, and especially a significant other to share an intimate bond with, we often feel more comfortable in our surroundings and feel great about having someone to have a valuable, romantic connection with. A relationship can bring about conflict, emotions, and desires, and often those are met or addressed through communication; however, being able to communicate can't solve all problems. Sometimes that bond or chemistry isn't there, and other times, even through communication, the message isn't strong enough to create change or bring results. Here are 11 things that matter in relationships that have nothing to do with communication. For optimal success, focus on implementing these factors, as well as communication, into your relationships.

1. Similar Interests

Over email with Bustle, certified healthy lifestyle coach Liz Traines recommends finding a partner who has similar interests to you. While no two people should be identical, and differences can help balance out a relationship, a mutual love for being active, seeing movies, go out to restaurants, or traveling, for instance, could be something that can bring fun and romance to a relationship.

2. Sex

Sex is definitely not everything, but there should be a physical attraction between you and your partner, advises Traines. If there's no spark, or you find that you are no longer interested (or your partner is no longer interested), in making time for romance, it could signal that there's a problem in your relationship.

3. Similar Values

Traines says that you and your partner should have similar values. For instance, do you both want kids? Do you have the same political views? Do you have some overlapping priorities in life (family, career, travel, exercise, etc.)? These are some things to discuss, especially as a relationship lasts longer, advises Traines.

4. A Healthy Relationship With Parents

Over email with Bustle, therapist Chelsea Hudson, LCPC, explains how having parents too involved in an intimate relationship can cause tension and imbalance, and can make your partner feel that you value your mom's or dad's opinion over his or hers. Thus, put your partner first, and make sure you have a good balance.

5. Kindness

Even if you can communicate and forgive countless times, kindness is a key factor in any relationship, advises Traines. It's important to be kind to whomever you're with, and if you notice that your partner is routinely being unkind, it might be wise to re-evaluate the relationship and figure out what type of person you should be with.

6. An Ability To Be Yourself

Over email with Bustle, running coach and personal trainer Susie Lemmer explains how being genuine and natural within a relationship is incredibly important, since if you can't be yourself with your partner, something's wrong. Ask yourself if you're putting on a front or can just laugh and feel free around your significant other.

7. Laughter

Lemmer emphasizes the importance of laughter in a relationship. Humor is fun and can really bond people together, Lemmer explains, and it also denotes a sense of being natural and goofy, which is a behavior that can signal feelings of acceptance and freedom. If there's not enough silly moments and humor, a relationship might feel cold or boring.

8. A Friendship

While not all relationships need to start with a friendship before becoming romantic, there should be a layer of friendship within any romantic bond, as friendship means that you like each other and each other's company. If you find that your significant other resembles a best friend, then it might mean that your relationship can be sustainable long-term.

9. Trust

According to Preston Ni M.S.B.A. over interview with Psychology Today, having trust in a relationship is incredibly important, and it lays the foundation for how it could evolve. If you don't trust your partner, that never-ending fear and resentment might be prevalent, and this could cause a lot of tension and distance moving forward.

10. Love

While new relationships might not have love yet, there should be a possibility to find love within a successful and nurturing relationship. Partnerships that are based off of love are usually more able to overcome conflict, even if communication is tricky at times. There's a time to work through things, especially if there's a real love there.

11. Safety

If you feel safe with your partner, as in he or she will protect you from dangerous situations, as well as be respectful of your body, then there's a greater chance for the relationship to evolve. If you don't feel respected by your partner, or you feel like he or she has a bad temper, has done things that question inhibitions, or isn't on the lookout as a protector when out late at night, then you might want to find someone you feel in better hands with.

While communication is one of the most important factors in any relationship, looking at these other areas, as well as thinking of your level of happiness, will shed better light on where you and your partner stand and whether or not you should progress forward together.

Images: Pexels (12); Bustle